I gave my principal a top secret document in Highschool.
Sitting outside a fence waiting to get picked up, I saw kids jump over and flee from campus. I went home wrote this up, put it in a portfolio with images. Then had a friend who worked in the office leave it mysteriously on the principal’s desk.
Dear Commissioner Weaver
Proposal to Reduce Truancy
As you may be aware a large amount of students are truant each day from class. In Los Angeles 10% of students are gone per day and in New York 15%, these numbers show no signs of decreasing even with the assistance of programs. Truancy can lead to Drug use, unwanted pregnancies, crime and those possibilities can lead to the jailing of parents and loss of welfare benefits. Apart from that it also cost the state and district money to keep truancy and police officers regulating this issue when it could be spent benefiting the school.
I have a proposition which will boost Sunnyside to near perfect attendance daily and make Sunnyside the finest high school in the state. Students flee campus through the empty fields behind the school, and after years of surveying the Empty field I’ve discovered a solution. I suggest Sunnyside purchase this empty field and being construction of a maze covering the entire area of terrain. This maze will have only one entrance on the side students usually leave through on the corner of Lowe and Villa. Students will be confused as they search for an exit on the opposite side to discover only a series of dead ends. At each dead end the student will encounter an obstacle such as an alligator, grizzly bear, or a grizzly bear genetically modified to have sharks in the place of hands with red capes on their backs. The shark hands will also have the ability to shoot lasers from their mouths. Thanks to science a shark with bears for fins is also available with a top hat and a monocle.
The maze can be related to life. If you try to take a short cut out you will only encounter dead ends and realize the only way out is to go back and do it right the first time. Students will be discouraged from entering the maze after learning this and will stay in class and graduate instead of trying to leave early.
I will need thirteen trillion dollars to complete this maze but it is a small cost to eliminate truancy that will pay itself over time. The money will go to building ten ft high 6 ft thick walls and the rest pay for the animals. The maze will be completed by January 1st 2011 if paid in full by December 31st 2010. If this is not possible a payment plan can be setup up which will delay the projects functional date until January 1st 2061 when nature naturally modifies a grizzly bear to have a red cape with sharks for arms which shoot lasers from their mouths. This can be achieved with your help and you will be the greatest commissioner FUSD has ever known.