Your Daily Resolution

It is mid February. You re-open your 2016 journal/iPad/To-Do List or whatever platform you have used to store the goals you set out for 2016. You begin reflecting on your January.

Perhaps you accomplished an amazing amount (Give yourself a high-five!). Perhaps January was a whirlwind of new-year catching up at work. Perhaps you are feeling the crunch of scrambling to keep up with eating healthier, walking more often, taking more time off work, spending quality time with every friend you did not get to see in 2015, and also getting to bed earlier that you’ve invariably fallen behind on all of the above.

Or, perhaps you are rolling your eyes at resolutions and have decided to do away with them altogether. They never really happen anyway, right?

I enjoy statistics, so listed below are some about resolutions:

“40 to 45% of American adults make one or more resolutions each year.

Top 3 new year’s resolutions are:
- weight loss, 
- exercise program, 
- stop smoking.
Also popular are resolutions dealing with better money management & debt reduction.

The following shows how many of these resolutions are maintained as time goes on:
- past the first week: 75%
- past 2 weeks: 71%
- after one month: 64%
- after 6 months: 46%”

In other words: Half of the people who make good resolutions at new year have given up on them by the end of June. (*Active Pause and LifeSherpa, 2016)

The top two resolutions listed above are focused on the body — generally improving it; being healthy; getting fit. For many years I would make those same resolutions, only to “relapse” into unhealthy habits a month later and the remainder of the year, leaving me feeling more dejected about myself. The more I studied psychology at school and opened myself up to dealing with my personal demons at home, the more I realised the same thing:

Continually love yourself and make peace with yourself, then you will see steadier progress.

But how do I do this? What does loving oneself look like? For someone who has been in several unloving relationships, I didn’t have too many good examples of self-love around me. Yoga gave me a new perspective on that. I decided to change my mindset about resolutions and why I make them. I am an avid planner: I make plans a month in advance and often have lists on lists of to-dos daily. Not only did I learn that was not always beneficial for my anxious heart, but it was also not allowing me to be present and enjoy what I was doing at any given moment unless it was done perfectly according to my listed schedule.

In September last year, I started to do away with the crazy lists and had only one resolution each day:

Erica, Be Kind To Yourself.

I recommitted myself to that mantra daily for the past four months. It is not an easy journey, but it becomes an easier choice each day.

Allow me to share what I have learned particularly about exercising resolutions and self love surrounding exercise:

1. Making Resolutions around Your Body: The point I aim to make is to love yourself and be healthy because you love yourself. The issue with good workouts that become popular trends is too many people forget to love themselves and end up picturing physical results as the main goal and are not ever in-love with who they are. In turn, they push themselves, hurt themselves or ruin their appetites to reach a certain standard. Are you working out for someone else or for yourself? Be kind and love your body right now.
2. Finding the Right Exercise for YOU: There is probably no sure way to convince every person that an exercise is good for you. Do your research. Test it out. Trust your body. If lifting weights gives you joy, lift weights! If yoga makes you happy, do yoga! If your knee hurts every time you run, well, maybe you need to find something else. Be kind and love your body right now.
3. Workout Trends: People tend to believe things that provide drastic results are fake and dangerous, as a lot of trends, both dieting and exercising ones, can truly be dangerous quick-fixes. Buti Yoga is a good example. I do believe Buti Yoga when done with health and self love in mind through letting go of perfectionism and over-pushing oneself is an amazing lifestyle. My friends and I have all benefitted from it inside and out. Where it can become dangerous is when we lose sight of loving our body right now.
4. Know Your Body: It is wise of anyone who does continuous exercise, even yoga, to understand there are dangers if you don’t do it properly and safely. If a runner doesn’t warm up and only eats salads, that’s dangerous! Running itself isn’t, but the particular person who decides to be extreme about the way she runs is creating dangerous times for herself. Every type of activity can be dangerous if you are not being safe. Learn from a doctor, chiropractor, acupuncturist, dietician… If you are being careful, continuously working to grow and being loving to who you are no matter what you look like, then hurray! Be kind and love your body right now.
5. Open to Input: Your friends might be worried an exercise routine you love is a dangerous fad and that it teaches you to strive for body ideals. It is important to listen and evaluate the input of those closest to you. Compare the input with your values. Am I doing this because I dislike my body and want to look better? Am I doing this because I love my body and want to continue to grow? Am I doing this because I feel guilty if I don’t? Truly take time to look inside you. Be kind and love your body right now. People can tell when you are doing something out of kindness to yourself.
6. Hey You, Be Kind To Yourself: Words like I let myself “slip” or phrases that can be translated to negativity about self, “oh no I’m not enough because I didn’t do this or I ate this bad treat today or I fell off the wagon” are the most poisonous. I’ve gotten caught in that web my entire life and counseling is helping me realize that even doing something good for me like yoga can breed negative thoughts when I am basing how well I do on my unattainable expectations. It’s a long painful process and a constant battle realizing that there is always a healthy balance. My face and body looking beautiful according to what the world tells me is not the main goal. Loving myself is. What are my values?
7. Be Brave on the Journey to Self Love: Begin by being kind to yourself daily. One step at a time. Rome was not built in a day — there will be days choosing to love yourself can be crushing. Talk to someone you trust about those days. Learn vulnerability and accept support. I know those are two very difficult tasks for me to do, especially concerning exercising. You got this. You are not the only one on this journey.

Beyond exercise and eating healthy, what are other resolutions you have made? How have you succeeded, and where have you needed to grow? Take a kind look at yourself today and create goals around your values.

My resolution today is Erica, Be Kind To Yourself.

What is your daily resolution?