Charlie,

Well done piece and quite perfect timing. I’ve lost so many people that I’ve loved and cared about. Not because of something I’ve done, but rather their expectations or something beyond my control like their anger and fear.

Last night I had a horrible blow out with my dearest male friend. I knew something was coming, but what was said to me, came out of left field. What took place was almost surreal. I’m in much of a haze today and likely will be for a while. Another friend who thought if he gave and gave, I would give him the romantic and sexual relationship he had deluded himself into believing he would attain. I’ve never once led this person on, although they feel differently. Ive been open and honest about my feelings. I lead the horse to water, but I can’t make them drink it. I can’t force someone to believe something other than the absurdity going on in their head.

I’ve cried enough. My heart is fractured. This relationship is fractured and I don’t think any amount of repair will fix what he undid. Things were said that can never be take me back. It’s painful. I’ve lost so many friends. I’ve lost so much respect for those I love. Love isn’t enough in this case.

I have always been the one to extend the olive branch, only to have it thrown back in my face. People don’t realize what they have until it’s gone.

Thank you for this piece. Again, the timing was impeccable. Where I go from here, I have no idea. I feel like a lost soul. A nobody that gets discarded once I don’t meet someone’s expectations. A fractured soul who simply cannot take anymore. I’m not sure why I bother with any type of relationship anymore.

What have I done to these people? Nothing. It’s all out of my control. However, I can’t help but know that I’m the common denominator that gets tossed to the side time and time again. Don’t people value what they have? Maybe there is something wrong with me. And people wonder why I feel worthless.

Heavy heart.