The Scariest Thing

Funny you write about depression today. I’ve been teetering between apathy and depression. I thought it was staved off for the most part, but I feel it’s walls slowly closing in on me. Not even close to my first rodeo. More like my 100th.

It’s been a while since the suicidal ideation has reared its ugly head. I got a glimpse of it yesterday morning when a song came on the radio. An artist who took their own life. As someone who’s always been on the ledge, here I sit, again. No need to call 911 or put a 48 hour psych hold on me. I am hanging in there the best way I know how. But there has always been a part of me that wants to know what it feels like to finally let go. To know longer be burdened or a burden to this world.

Thank you for letting me share a little bit of myself this morning.

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