I Wanted Him to Hit Me Instead: The Physical Trauma of Emotional Abuse.
Suzanna Quintana

Suzanna, just wow. I know it’s naive of me to think no one else went through my experience. Yet you did.

I started early. I was in a 7 year relationship with a man who was a product of the system. A full blown NPD. It’s quite horrifying when I look back on it all. Sadly, that was nothing.

He and I ended. Next up, my ex husband. Riddled with mental illness. He’s a BPD. The abuse I endured for a decade with 2 men was awful. My ex husband fucked my head up six ways of Sunday. 5 years divorced and the PTSD has gone down some. He still haunts me. My marriage haunts me. The abuse, emotional, mental, and financial were horrifying. At one point he said he wanted to ram my head through a wall. The abuse was escalating fast. The end was a blow out. A show down. I wish this upon no human being.

I often hoped he’d follow through with his promises of physical abuse. Why? So the cops would see it and take him away. Yet I lived like a refugee Being threatened to be removed from my house. Amazing how the abuser flips the script to make himself out to be the abused. And he tried.

Who the hell knew I’d end up with similar people to that of my mother — BPD and my father-NPD. Horrible hell.

Thank you for reminding me why I got divorced. I’m surprised I’m even alive.

Much love to you hon. You will recover. It will take time and it sounds like you’re taking positive measures to see it happens.

No human being on this planet deserves that and believe me, I know it can always be worse.

To all the women and men who’ve survived abuse in any of its varying forms, you’re here. Alive and present. For that, I am grateful.

I hope we can all find our way to get unstuck and move forward in this life.

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