The dynamics of my family system are still in motion. I’ve worked hard to figure it out, and to extricate myself from the patterns that were not working for my well-being. Today, when I’m there, when I say what I need, when I stand up for myself, I’m pretty unpopular. It’s hard. I want to belong. And I guess I still do, but in a different way, on different terms.
Going Home
Cathy Ladman

This deeply pains me here. I feel this to my very core. Till this day, at my approaching 40, I still feel the foul, uneasy disgust my mother has with me anytime I deviate from her norm or try something new or do something with another person. Any time you had an idea or wanted to walk a different path, it was frowned upon. It is why I keep my life such a secret.

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