Ultimately, it boils down to being partners. My ex husband was an actual captain for the airlines. He couldn’t be without his co-pilot and his crew. But when it came to our marriage, he was absolutely lost. He couldn’t lead, as much as he wanted, but in the same breath, relinquished all control to me. When I executed anything our relationship, he either didn’t want to be involved or got pissed off at me for making a decision.
Fuck, someone had to do it. I couldn’t win. Sadly, that’s been my experience in practically every relationship I’ve been in with a man. Power plays, control, aloofness, plans made in a vacuum, lack of consultation, overall lack of communication.
I think most of the women wanting their men to be leaders isn’t necessarily that. I, we, want men to be an equal and participating member of the relationship. We should be able to take on responsibilities without permission. We should be able to go to our partners for support, advice, and assistance. For me, I seek equity and after 20 years of this shit, I can’t seem to find it.