How To Love Your Partner Without Enabling Their Addiction

Am I an Enabler?

First question you have to ask yourself is ¨Am I an enabler?¨Enabling an addict is the process of helping and supporting them to such an extent that they do not have to deal with the consequences of their actions. enabling means to accommodate the addicted individual in order to protect them from facing the full consequences of their drug use. An enabler can be a friend, spouse, loved one, or family member. It is easy to have difficulty differentiating between loving someone and enabling their dangerous behavior and actions. It´s important to set boundaries with your loved one to keep yourself from enabling their addiction.

Addicts will go through great lengths and extremes in order to feed their habits. Whether its using rent money, stealing, lieing, not going to work, etc. An enabler may do everything they can to help make up for their loved ones short comings. What you may think is just ¨helping¨or showing love is actually far from it in reality. The longer you keep an addict from reaching ground zero and seeking the professional help they need. you are acting as an enabler.

Tough Love and Showing love from Afar

1. Say “No” to financial help

Helping a loved one who is an addict pay off their bills or rent is only allowing them to fall deeper and deeper into their addiction. You are allowing them to keep using their rent money to feed their deadly addiction. It may be tempting to contribute money or resources. Do not do it.

2. Set Clear Boundaries

YOU need to be the one who sets rules and boundaries while showing tough love. Tough love is better than no love. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Make sure your loved one knows the consequences if they break your boundaries and rules. What will happen if they decide to get drunk or high in your home or around you or your family? What happens if they steal from you? What are you no´s?

3. Guide them

It´s important to understand that you cannot do anything but do your best to help guide your loved one to seek the treatment they need. No matter how many times you bail them out, give them financial help, etc., there is nothing better for you to do then show tough love, give advice, and help guide them.

4. Go by action, not by words

One of the most important rules for yourself is to not take someone´s word over their actions. Many addicts will use lies and deception to feed their addiction and will be very creative and convincing. Never go by their words. Make a policy that you want to see physical proof.

It is our responsibility to stay committed to doing our own recovery work, ride the ups and downs and be patient with the process.

If you or a loved one is struggling with chemical dependency and are ready for help, call Ridgeview Ranch today to speak with one of our Addiction Specialists at (877) 526–7706 for a free consultation. For additional information regarding our detox, outpatient and inpatient (30, 60, & 90 day) treatment programs, please visit www.ridgeviewranch.com. We accept all major PPO insurances and have financing programs to fit your needs. We are also now in network with Beacon Health Options, formerly Value Options. We are also now a Veteran Affairs provider, providing treatment to Veterans through TriWest Healthcare Alliance. We are here to help you!

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