It’s a little after 1AM and under the cloak of late hours, I’m sitting in front of my family’s home, in my car, with a flannel on, no make up, old man socks on, drinking a Longboard lager in a can. I am distracted.

Life is strange. I’m getting older and the way I mentally and emotionally process situations is becoming more and more of a focus to me. I don’t want to waste energy or feelings on people or situations that might only lead me from my path to building a productive and happiness-seeking life.

This includes my well-meaning religious parents, or my embedded-still-in-my-life ex, or any friends who aren’t willing to just let me live and be me.

I’m actively growing into knowing my needs and wants and acknowledging them better, but I’m not there yet. Not there to where I acknowledge what I want/need, the minute it’s asked of me. And how sad is that.

Is it a me thing? A woman thing? A Cancer thing? I’m not sure. But I really want to find out.