Protecting the Environment.
Hey team,
Last week I sent you some guidelines that could be helpful for creating a safe environment in your small groups. I pulled these ideas from both the If Gathering resources as well as Larry Osborne’s Sticky Church. I wanted to unpack them a little bit for you.
Accept one another in love just as Christ accepted us. (Rom 15:7)
This should be the foundational rule of the group. Christ embraced people from all walks of life- rich and poor, Jew and Gentile, conservative and liberal, zealot and pacifist. There was a place for everyone at the table. It can be difficult to maintain unity when there are strong differing opinions and personalities in a room. Refer to this when needed.
Rely on Scripture for truth. Focus on spiritual growth. (Psalm 119:104–106)
A small group isn’t just a place to make new friendships or deepen existing ones. It’s not just a place to talk about life. You could do that at any bar. (and probably even have deeper and more honest conversations.) The small group is a place to connect with other and have meaningful conversations about God and life. We believe that God (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) and the Scriptures are essential ingredients towards transformative spiritual growth.
Treat one another with respect in both speech and action. (Eph. 4:2–3)
While the Scriptures are an essential part of small groups, we also know that people can use the Bible as a sword to say mean-spirited things. While the Bible may be unclear on a few doctrinal points, one thing it states clearly and repeatedly is that we ought to treat each other with humility and dignity.
Make it a priority to show up both physically and mentally. (Acts 2:46)
As true with most things in life, you’re going to get in what you put in. If a person is inconsistent in their attendance and participation in a small group, they shouldn’t be surprised at the end of a semester when they don’t really feel like they connected much with others or grew much in their faith. As a small group leader, you know your own strengths and what gives you energy. (Example-being an introvert or extrovert.) I encourage you, if possible, to structure your day leading up to your small group meeting in such a way that allows you to be fully present and engaging during the meeting.
Be Concise. (Give Everyone Time To Share) (Pro. 10:19)
Do the math. If there are 15 people in your group, and your group meets for 90 minutes, and really maybe 60 of those minutes are working through the discussion…that gives each person in the room 4 minutes of talking time.
Now, some people won’t say much just given their personality, and some may take a little more than the average time, but make sure no one is taking up all of the time. (including YOU!) A part of your job as a small group leader is to keep the conversation on track, to limit the monopolizers, and to keep things flowing. You don’t have to get through all of the questions, but you should make space for everyone to contribute to meaningful conversations if they want to.
Keep Confidentiality.
We are asking people to show up, open up about their lives, and dig into the Scriptures looking for personal growth. They need to feel like your meeting is a safe place to explore their faith. A big part of that is ensuring that what is said in the room, stays in the room.
No counseling, parenting, lecturing, etc.
From Jennie Allen (If Gathering): “Protect the group by not directing all attention on solving one person’s problem. This is the place for confessing and discovery and applying truth together as a group.” As a leader, you should reach out to those that you feel need more attention outside of the group. Maybe it’s you grabbing coffee with them. Maybe it’s referring them to a local counselor like the Barnabas Group.
