A science fiction body-horror tale of a very bad man — Betty Jones “Why are you under my skin?” Betty shrieked, slapping at the bumps that were squirming under the upper layer of her epidermis. The said bumps were gaining speed and circling through her extremities. Like bugs under a threadbare rug or marbles set in motion under a sheet, the bumps seemed…

And is one better than the other? — “Rudesby, be gone!” Found in Twelfth Night, this Shakespearean insult has always tickled my funny bone. I’ve never used it in real life conversation, but I have several times when talking to my self and noticing my bad thoughts. Or perhaps I should say malevolent wishes. I don’t think I’m…

Why do we enjoy the beauty of sadness and despair? — This is something that has haunted me for years. Why do we let ourselves give in to sad plays, movies, television, and music? Most of us value being happy but willingly flock to pieces of art which are depressing or disturbing. Why? How my dependence on depressing art came to be My youngest experience with this was an obsession…

Because there certainly seems to be a lock on the door — So you may have noticed that there is a lock on the door of happiness. What to do? Pick the lock! Here are some skeleton keys which may help you in your quest to get in: 1. Deep breathing I know, I know, this is a super simple skill that isn’t very sexy or seemingly important. Wrong! Deep breathing can save your life. Deep breathing can keep you…

Will the true cause of happiness please stand up? — So this is an age-old question. What do true riches consist of? And what brings the most happiness? There seem to be four well-worn answers, and a bunch of little ones. I’ll start with the big ones first. Health Without it, you have very little ability to enjoy anything. You can’t…

I like big cats and I cannot lie . . . — I adore big cats. Hands down, I prefer rubbing a big belly over a small belly. I love poof, floof, and attitude. Very little in this world brings a smile to my face faster than a big ol’ cat. So. Why do I torture myself with condemnation towards my own…

When the shadows aren’t enough to hide your depravity — Vy do I like ze cellar? You haff no idea. Dahlink, take my hand and come. Come into ze cellar. Watch out! Our eunuch is trained to take ze balls off a man, and attach them to the next voman to entar. The bastaird is a klutz vith a needle…

Well, what’s normally behind a curtain? — “Is curtains for framin’, Ma?” Why yes Babe, they are. What else would they be for? On a stage, a curtain goes up at the beginning of a performance and down when the experience is over. It frames the experience. …

And all the locals have followed you like puppies — You’ve sent the robots ahead to scope out this new planet in the system of Sol. Great results! There are many precious metals, lots of water, and some primitive people who might be able to be shaped into a work force. Plus, the women are hot. Bonus! As Captain of…