Is the cost of tennis contributing to ‘ugly parent syndrome’?

Tennis Parent.
It’s an all too familiar stereotype in the world of sport that sadly conjures up images of aggressive and exploitative parents such as Damir Dokic, John Tomic and Jim Pierce.
This has long been recognised as a major problem within tennis and one that most of the sport’s governing bodies have been repeatedly forced to address. However, despite their proactive and positive stances on the issue, it still isn’t unusual to see tennis players with fanatical parents developing at a faster rate and often experiencing greater success than those without.
Although it can still be prevalent at the tour level, it is within the junior ranks where parents exert a greater level of influence and authority over their children that the problem is particularly widespread. When you take into consideration that it’s often the results at this level that determine which players are allocated the scarce funding and support from their national bodies, the incentive for parents to become excessively involved can be high.
As someone who has been heavily invested in tennis for almost 30 years, I’m very interested in what we can do to limit the effectiveness of this parenting style and, more importantly, how we can establish an environment that no longer facilitates this type of behaviour.
To do so, we first need to have a look at why children with aggressive and overbearing parents might develop faster and achieve more success on the court (of course it’s usually the opposite socially and developmentally) at a junior level than those without.
A prominent factor here is that fanatical tennis parents will often force their children to practice more and for longer periods then what they otherwise might. Demanding parents can impose a level of commitment that essentially replaces the free will of a child with the work ethic of a driven adult.
While you could argue that many young tennis players will intrinsically possess this motivation, having the option of stopping removed by a parent can undoubtedly influence performance. Dedication and perseverance have been proven over and over again to achieve positive results, even though the catalyst for these traits may be detrimental in the long-term.
Another aspect is fear. Parents that place psychological pressure on their children to win often generate a fear of losing that contributes to success. Their child may begin to believe that their self-worth is determined by how they perform in tennis matches, even to the extent that they will feel their parents only love them as long as they are winning. The fear of failing those that are most important to you, while unhealthy, can be an excellent motivator.
The flip-side to this is that while this increased pressure may trigger a greater competitive desire in some children, it can cause a devastating amount of psychological damage to others. In certain circumstances this can not only harm the relationship between a parent and their child, but can also have a negative effect on their performance.
However, it may not just be the offending parents themselves that are solely responsible for the creation of this problem. In order to better develop an approach to dealing with the issue, we also need to be prepared to take a look at the sport itself and consider other factors that may be contributing, particularly given its prominence in tennis when compared to other sports.
One extrinsic factor that I feel doesn’t often get raised when discussing the frequency of fanatical tennis parents is the cost of the sport.
The reality is that becoming exceptionally good at tennis isn’t easy, and it isn’t cheap.
In a highly competitive and expensive sport, providing a child with the requisite amount of coaching, training and competition in order to compete at a high level frequently necessitates a parent adopting additional responsibilities and spending countless hours dedicated to their child’s pursuit.
Often this will involve taking on one of the largest expenses; the role of the coach. Despite the overwhelming documentation that highlights how detrimental this can be to the parent/child relationship, it can still become a necessity for many families as paying a professional tennis coach to dedicate the amount of time required is simply too expensive.
To compound the problem, once a parent takes onboard this type of commitment they may begin to feel their child “owes it to them” to be successful. Their involvement can move beyond parenting and almost become business-like.
They begin to expect a return on their investment.
This is something that is far less likely to occur in a team sports environment. While there will always be difficult parents in all sports, overbearing parental involvement is considerably lessened by the presence of a team structure and access to more affordable coaching and support.
From a cost perspective, team sports are primarily cheaper because, even in a commercial model, the dynamics of the sport itself allows coaches to be responsible for the development of larger groups of children at a time. This is something that most tennis coaches struggle to justify to their clients due to the challenging and individual nature of their sport.
In addition, there is often a larger volunteer pool to draw upon in team sports, which can further reduce costs. The math here is relatively straightforward — the more children that are able to participate, the more parents that will be available to lend a hand.
It is also worth pointing out here that tennis can be a difficult and technical sport to teach, which reduces the capacity for volunteer help and exacerbates a reliance on professional coaches more so than in many team sports.
Competing in team sports provides an opportunity for children to develop at their own rate within a healthier and more cost-effective environment. I don’t think it is unreasonable to suggest that with a lessened financial commitment, comes lower expectations from parents.
So how can the tennis industry go about establishing this type of environment?
Is it even possible to develop a more affordable and equitable system when the development of players is currently so reliant on tennis coaches that have every right to earn a living and charge accordingly for their time?
I believe it is, but feel we need to achieve two key outcomes in order to do so:
- The development of a product that better allows children to “play the game” at a younger age and an earlier stage of their development.
- Re-framing public expectations of what constitutes a “normal” tennis coaching environment, both in terms of the product they are introduced to and the size of the classes.
Tennis is a challenging sport to learn and the reality is that most children are now being introduced to it at an age where they are not able to play the sport. While they can happily participate in coaching programs consisting of modified activities, drills and games, most children simply are not able to experience playing a game of tennis for many years.
These restrictions dictate that tennis coaches are required to limit the size of their developmental coaching groups in order to run a successful program. And because of this, they need to charge accordingly.
However as every tennis coach would know, the more proficient their students are, the more they can cater to.
If tennis is going to continue to compete with popular team sports like football (soccer), where children are able to immediately take part and play the game, we need to ensure we’re providing a product that allows our players to do the same.
Many people of my age would have grown up playing some variation of bat-tennis at school, now most kids they have tennis racquets with strings from the moment of introduction. My glasses might be slightly rose-tinted but I remember most kids being able to have a rally with those silly little plastic bats as opposed to so many that I see today, even after months of participating in tennis lessons.
While a simple adaption of equipment may not be the answer, investing in the development and implementation of programs that can help players achieve a better level of competency from the outset will give tennis coaches the opportunity to better address two of the sports key weaknesses; cost and peer group support.
And until youngsters are provided with the opportunity to play more regularly and affordably, it might be inevitable that tennis will continue to be a breeding ground for fanatical parents.
