The one where guy seeking a threesome doesn’t like rejection

Narcissism. Oh Narcissism. Where would I be without Narcissism? Well, fortunately we will never have to find out because there are PLENTY of Narcissists about in the dating world.

I have a pretty good radar for Narcissism. Let’s just say it’s another one of my special skills (perhaps reflecting my own Narcissistic traits? Shut up, this blog is about the guys I’m dating/avoiding, not about my personality. Let’s save that for another blog/my therapist).

I was hanging out with my housemate and a girl he was dating. I was feeling pretty rotten as I was recovering from a cold but had headed out to see a friend briefly and then later met up with my housemate to have a drink and to give him and his bae a lift. I was pretty underdressed for a Saturday night but was definitely rocking in my black jeans, and on point flanno shirt.

Doing what I do best, I was people-watching and noticed this guy. He was wearing all black, with a button up shirt tucked into black trousers, hair gelled back. Automatic response: ‘yuk’. He just generally looked like a sleaze. But what made me notice this guy? His opening line to the various ladies he was attempting to converse with:

“Can I ask you a question? Have you ever kissed another girl?”

GROSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Creeper through and through. And he was asking this of all the ladies in the bar, one by one.

Now, given my casual yet awesome style of dress, I assumed I would be safe from this guys advances. However, in hindsight that was a silly thing to assume. Because, as this guy struck out with every single one of those girls, he needed to open up the potenial pool.

Just happening to be sitting at the table next to Narcissist Guy (NG), I glance over and he’s waving his hand at me trying to grab my attention. Blergh. What a dick move. I look right at him and he proceeds yet again with tonight’s chosen line…

NG: “Can I ask you a question?”

RS: “No.”

NG: “What? Why not?”

RS: “Because I’ve been sitting here observing you and you’ve got no game. I’m not interested.” (Poor NG. This is where the Narcissism starts to come out…)

NG: “What do you mean I have no game?!” (Can I add here, the male friend he was sitting with began to laugh at this point)

RS: “You’re going around asking women if they’ve kissed other women. How incredibly original. It’s pathetic and I’m not interested in engaging with you.”

NG: “Who the fuck are you, you’re just some out-of-towner!” (remembering, I was recovering from a cold so this guy likely mistook my blocked nose for an accent… even so… douche. As if people from outside of CBR aren’t entitled to opinions).

RS: *hand up to his face* “thanks, but I’m done.”

NG proceeds to rant and rave but I look away and ignore him. Do you know that the most provoking thing you can do to a Narcissist is ignore them?

Housemate, his bae, and I get up to leave. I start to walk over to the bar staff to say goodbye when NG makes an attempt at a parting shot…

NG: “Ah EXCUSE me, who are you going home with? No one!” He proceeds to scoff.

RS: “Oh I’m sorry, and who are YOU going home with?” NG points to a table full of ladies.

NG: “That’s my girlfriend over there.” He’s pretty smug with himself. He thinks he’s won. I walk closer to him, bend down to his eye level and lean in.

RS: “Don’t you fucking push your insecurities on to me. You can just go and fuck yourself.” I stand up straight, turn away, finish off my farewells to the bar staff, all the while, NG is yelling out insults. I turn around and smile at him as I walk out of the bar.

Now where does the threesome fit in all this? Well, if we assume he was telling the truth about the ‘girlfriend’ (I doubt it though), then I can only believe that his asking of the experience of the ladies he was encountering was to suss out who might be keen. Irrespective of this though, I found this guy to be arrogant, entitled, and bordering on misogyny with his comments.

And his parting shot? What a fucking joke. As if I give a shit if I’m going home with someone or not, coz, I’m not insecure (and I’m enjoying the balance of single life where there is companionship and where I’m free to do what I want). But he sure let on what he was insecure about and to me, that’s the funniest thing about this whole interaction. This guy thought he was hurting me and all he was doing was exposing his vulnerabilities to me. Definitely not dating material. Not that he asked and not that I sought after him. Coz, standards. And I’m a better person. That may be construed as arrogant. But it’s also a damn fact, so sorry-not-sorry.

Until next time…

Peace and love, RS