Trump’s 5 most hilarious political appointments (so far):
I’m not going to lie, there’s a theme…they’re all old, rich, white and very, very ignorant.
Secretary of State:
Rex Tillerson — I know he sounds like a villain in a Western but don’t worry, he’s only the ex-CEO of major oil corporation ExxonMobil, with close ties to Putin and Russia. I’m sure it won’t affect his opinions on foreign policy though.
Jeff Sessions — You guessed it, another old white guy. When I first saw him I thought he looked like Anthony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs but then I realised he was actually just a REAL psychopath. Bearing in mind he would be in charge of informing national laws, he has a horrible record of being a serious racist amongst other things. See Senator Cory Booker’s testimony against Sessions at his confirmation hearing.
Environmental protection agency:
Scott Pruitt — I think Scott is one of my favourite contestants because…oh wait this is real. Oh yeah. Okay, well Mr Pruitt’s credentials for serving as the head of the EPA are his denial of climate change, his lawsuits against the Clean Power Plan and his hatred of the EPA…seems legit. I like to think of it as a game show because to accept that it’s real would just be too much for me right now.
Health and Human Services:
Tom Price — his most suitable characteristic for the job is that he’s human…probably. He doesn’t like Obamacare (only rich people deserve healthcare, obviously) and tried to sneakily defund Planned Parenthood in 2015. He’s probably changed though and who knows, maybe this year he’ll break his “100% pro-life record” in favour of letting other people decide what they do with their bodies. I’m optimistic.