John Kelly’s Press Remarks Right Out of Hostage Video 101

Wikipedia defines “duress code” as “a covert distress signal used by an individual who is being coerced by one or more hostile persons. It is used to warn others that they are being forced to do something against their will.”

White House Chief of Staff and former General John Kelly

When White House Chief of Staff John Kelly took to the podium at yesterday’s White House press conference he was a man under duress, and the man-child that forced and coerced him into making that speech was his boss, President Donald J. Trump.

Discussing his fruitless prepping of Mr. Trump for phone calls with Gold Star Families, General Kelly said, “So when I gave that explanation to our President three days ago, he elected to make phone calls in the cases of four young men who we lost in Niger at the earlier part of this month. But then he (Trump) said, “How do you make these calls? If you’re not in the family, if you’ve never worn the uniform, if you’ve never been in combat, you can’t even imagine how to make that call.”

Yes, the President asked Kelly, “How do you make these calls?

General Kelly did not reply by saying, “Sir, you’ve made dozens of these calls. You know exactly what to say. You make better calls than anyone in history, especially Obama or that ungrateful bitch Mayor in Puerto Rico.” No, instead he told the President exactly what to say to the bereaved, effectively revealing that Trump did not have much, or any experience reaching out to Gold Star families. Trump lied by saying that he called virtually every family of a killed soldier since he’s been in the Oval Office. Kelly knew that and he wanted us to know too.

When discussing the dedication of a new FBI facility in Miami, Kelly said “ Jim Comey gave an absolutely brilliant memorial speech to those fallen men and to all of the men and women of the FBI who serve our country so well, and law enforcement so well.”

Okay, let’s get real here. Using “Jim Comey” and “absolutely brilliant” in the same sentence makes the President’s Big Mac laced arteries tighter than a duck’s ass under water. Also, Kelly is not on record as ever saying that anything about his boss is absolutely brilliant.

The chief-of-staff closed his remarks with “We don’t look down upon those of you who that haven’t served. In fact, in a way we’re a little bit sorry because you’ll have never have experienced the wonderful joy you get in your heart when you do the kinds of things our service men and women do — not for any other reason than they love this country. So just think of that.”

Mr. President, he was talking directly to you. Your chief of staff feels sorry for you. He’s saddened that those pesky bone spurs (you don’t even fucking remember which foot they they were on) kept you from experiencing the joys of service. While you were snorting coke off of Roy Cohn’s scrotum at Studio 54, then Second Lieutenant Kelly, and thousands of men and women just like him, were putting their lives on the line for their country. Every day.

Mr. Kelly despises every fiber of Donald Trump’s being. He’s serving only out of duty to his country. Kelly wants to protect us from an imbecile who gets a (small) boner when he thinks about dropping bombs on North Korea, brags about grabbing women’s pussies, and mocks disabled reporters.

And that’s what we know about Donald Trump. Imagine the things they hear on a daily basis. General Kelly hears the most ridiculous, uninformed, profane, incoherent, vile nonsense imaginable, several times a day. He knows that Donald J. Trump is unfit to serve and a danger to the world.

General Kelly is now a proven liar, but he’s infinitely more capable than the President. Hopefully he’ll have some stories to share with Robert Mueller

Like what you read? Give Roger Fallihee a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.