“Me” © Meredith Truax

My sense of self-worth is tied to my creative output and that isn’t healthy. Social media doesn’t make this toxic identity connection any better. There are visible metrics tied to every thing that I share, including this piece you’re reading now, which let me know just how unimportant and lackluster I am. The metrics are nonsense and easily gamed but execs still use them to determine whether you receive a check, so I still definitely do suck. I don’t know of another way to see myself and I can’t trace back where I learned to see myself this way.


Illustration by Yann Houri

I think social media has killed my brain…

I’ve always had difficulty focusing on a single idea for too long, unless it was one of those a-ha story breaking moments, but my brain is mush now. It’s strung out and littered with dead neurons, synapses dim and in search of the perfect dose of dopamine to fire them back up.

I’ve already stopped writing this piece twice to explore other ideas, one of which was a cover image for this post. I googled “artistic illustrations of the brain.” I wish I could have just drawn my own but I’ve never…


One of the first photos I took on my iPhone 4S in October 2012

I own a few wonderful cameras. When I’m commissioned to do a photo shoot the Sony Alpha 7R II is my go to tool. It’s small, reasonably fast and captures an incredible amount of detail. I also own two analog cameras: a Pentax 6x7 MLU and a Hasselblad 503CW. One of these almost always makes it into the bag alongside the A7R II but they don’t get as much burn. They’re cumbersome film cameras that lack many of the modern bells and whistles the A7R II has. But every now and then they lurch out of the depths of my…


A 4K screenshot of Red Dead Redemption running on the Xbox One X by AgentClucky

The start of this generation began not with an explosion of new IP but the retooling of established favorites. Marquee titles from the previous two generations of consoles received makeovers fueled by the additional horsepower of the new consoles. Underperforming titles and massive hits alike enjoyed a second wave of sales that sometimes surpassed their original edition’s performance. This remaster trend didn’t begin in this generation — PlayStation and Xbox bankrolled high-profile refreshes of Shadow of the Colossus and Halo: CE last generation — but defined the start of it. …


Stimulate me.

I love stimulation. I love feeling things.

*Bzzzttt*

Ah, there goes my phone again. A new notification. A new conversation.

New…

Stimulated.

I love being needed. I love feeling important.

“I’m not really looking to discuss BLADE RUNNER: 2049 with anyone right now, but I’m happy you asked me about it…wait, what? That’s ridiculous, the Joi & K relationship is the most important aspect of that film!”

Stimulated.

I think I’m addicted to stimulation.

Aren’t we all?

Yes, but it’s a problem for someone like me. You see, I have a very noisy brain. It’s very chatty inside this…


Perpetually exhausted is how I would describe it. No amount of sleep can cure it. No vacation getaway is far enough away to escape it. And it, the feeling that is, has a tendency to leak into all waking activities—my dreams manage to evade it but I can’t seem to have a pleasant one of those anymore. I can always write about it though, no matter the hour, regardless of the competiting deadline. I always make time for it. Make space for it.

“No, rest right here—that story I was writing can wait. What do you need from me?”

I…


I love Driveclub.

Crazy, I know. The “simcade” racer for Playstation 4 had a rough development cycle and an equally rough launch that was mired in middling reviews and server woes. Evolution Studios (Evo) did a great job at righting the ship and Driveclub’s post-launch support was incredible—their season pass may be one of the best ever, across any genre. The turnaround and modest sales success didn’t save Evo from getting the axe—the team was quickly scooped up by Codemasters, yay!—but then August rolled around and Sony announced Driveclub VR. More surprisingly, Driveclub VR wasn’t an upgrade to the old…


Sony recently revealed the Playstation Pro, their mid-cycle refresh for their flagship console. The PS4 Pro packs over 2x the graphical power of the original Playstation 4 and has numerous other hardware improvements (none of which are a 4K Blu-Ray drive, unfortunately) to help usher console gamers into the 4K future. As you can imagine, this news prompted a swarm of hot takes from the games press. “Who is this for?” asked Jeff Gerstmann, while others, most notably Kinda Funny Games’s Colin Moriarty, proclaimed it to be “an unforced error” by Sony. It’s easy to understand why some were a…


Battlefield 1’s Open Beta has just concluded and DICE’s risky return to bolt-action rifles and bi-planes seems to have paid off. Battlefield 1, while undoubtedly still Battlefield, feels noticeably different from its competitors which are all about futuristic high-speed PvP combat. Infinity Ward is following in Treyarch’s footsteps—an interesting reversal from the company hierarchy a decade ago—with Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare, which introduces Combat Rigs (read: heroes) that allow for all sorts of sci-fi, borderline fantasy, shenanigans such as deployable gravity vortexes and active camouflage.

Infinite Warfare’s multiplayer was revealed last weekend at COD XP 2016 —beta coming to…


It’s hard to argue that Sony has done many things wrong this generation. They have the number #1 selling video game console on the market — the PS4 is still outpacing the PS2's sales figures — they’re leading the home console software sales race, and consumers seem very happy with the box. But there’s still some room for improvement and the one thing at the top of my wish list — no, it’s not the ability to change my PSN ID, though that desperately needs to be a thing — is hardware related. I want a DualShock 4 Elite Controller.

Roman M France

Professional Video Game Guy currently making art @ Activision

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