THIS TIGER CAN ONLY PURR

Ok people, this is well over due. Tiger Woods will never win another major golf tournament. This is not a bold statement. Even his most loyal followers have to admit this. I know, I know, he’s still young in golf years, he’s just working on another new swing, he was ranked number one just two years ago and he just needs to shave his balding head and everything will be just fine. Enough already.

It’s been seven years since he last won a major, that being the U.S Open. Seven long ass years! During this time he’s managed multiple injuries, Navy Seal training for some strange reason, handing out his phone number to all the wrong females, being chased by a 9-iron wielding wife and, and, and………I’m gonna stop.

For a man turning 40 this year and playing a non-contact sport, age and injuries are not the excuse. Fine, I’ll be fair. It’s five percent physical and ninety-five percent in his melon. Any professional athlete whether it’s basketball, football, hockey and to a lesser extent baseball, would laugh at the mere suggestion that his problems are mostly physical.

It’s true, since 1960 seventy-five percent of major winners are 35 and younger and only ten percent are over the age of 40. If anyone was going to skew those numbers in favor of the old fellas it was going to be Tiger. He was dominating the sport and somehow made golf must-watch TV. Golf!! Catching Jack Nicklaus and his 18 major championships was never in question, it was how many more will he win. But since winning number 14 at that 2008 U.S. Open, Tiger has been rendered to kitten status. He was 32 years old, showing no signs of slowing down and had 14 majors under his ummm….paw. Even if he slowed down from that torrid pace, which would have been understandable, Jack’s record was history before Tiger hit the big 4–0.

But something happened on that wonderful road to golf greatness back on that fateful night in November 2009. He veered off and drove his Escalade into a fire hydrant, took out part of a tree and did some landscaping on some hedges and brush. Eerily similar to the work he’s done on the golf course after another errant tee shot. I generally don’t pick one thing as a reason for something changing because it’s never that simple, but that night changed everything about his life and his golf game more than any injury could ever do.