Be like Sally. Master 100 useless skills

When Sally was young her mother told her:

“You need to master atleast one recipe to survive in life. On other occasions; use a book.”

What Sally’s mother did not know, was that 20+ years later young, independent women wouldn’t need books, since they had phones, apps, tablets, phablets and other various beautiful things helping them out.

What Sally didn’t know, until very recently, was that she would master a lot more than one recipe. She would later in life invent something called “One of everything” that would help her out in various surprises she would face in her life.

See, Sally understood, that while she could gain respect in a man with her bravura lasagna; she could gain respect in a lot more people if she had a lot more bravuras. So, she made a list. A list of things she would get familiar with, and eventually master. The list started out as “10 things to master in life, to become the master of life”, but ended up being “100 things to master in life, to become the master of life”.

It took Sally almost 5 years to master so, so many things, and even though she was very, very proud of her list; she has never shown the list to anyone. Actually, I’m the only person she has ever honestly told about it.

“It would take away the magic if I’d reveal that it’s all planned.”

That’s true Sally. It would ruin the glory in her actions. Sally has also made a promise that the list is now complete. Maybe she’s afraid that as our world keeps rapidly evolving she would eventually find herself obsessively trying to master a new skill of some sort.

So what are these skills on her list? I don’t know, I’ve never seen the list. All I can do is describe Sally to you;

Sally can tell you the most random facts about animals. She’ll tell you how playful and great parents foxes are, she’ll mimic their sound and tell you where to buy them. Because, if you weren’t aware, you can buy a pet-fox. Sally can fix the weirdest things (with the weirdest equipment), and you shouldn’t play Tic Tac Toe with her, atleast not for money, because you’ll most likely lose. She knows a lot about plumbing. She knows how to speak 10 languages (Atleast so it seems). She can make a dress out of a t-shirt, tie your knot, sew denim, knit a sock and tie your shoe laces in a fun but super fast way.

She isn’t sporty, but she can present you a complex yoga pose, and knows how to do a layup. She has never been excellent in math, but she’ll help you out with long division. She can juggle, whistle with her fingers, and tell you the age of any tree by just looking at it. Last but not least; Sally doesn’t have a working stove, but she knows how to make a heavenly lasagna.

You might think these are useless skills. You might think this won’t impress anyone. Or maybe someone, in a bar. Drunk. When I was talking about this with Sally she told me that you’ll never know when these “useless” skills could save your life. I laughed. She then continued to explain; it’s not about continuously impressing people around her, or being the center of attention.

“It’s more like little things and actions that might amuse people for a while, but no matter how small the thing is, they’ll remember it. And when they actually need help in something; I’ll be the first to think of. You know, because I’m the handy-Sally. And that’s when I’ll really get to shine. When I’m helping people with real issues.”