Losing a hero.
Spoken Word Scrolls

Title: Losing a hero.
When I lost that hero,
My world changed.
I still have trouble letting go.
A second flying high,
Losing touch with reality;
He left:
And I lost my faith;
My power:
Like a Duracell battery.
This may sound cheesy,
But nowadays my thoughts curd really easily.
Really though,
I’m lost without that rock and compass.
He’d keep me on track;
When I’d be heading wayward,
He’d guide me back;
To the right way.
I can still hear him say-
You’re your own man,
Don’t worry about others,
Just stick to that rock-solid-plan.
It hurts me deep to think:
He’s dead.
Lying in that soil…
Cold..
Can’t believe that’s now his bed.
You see,
There came points I wanted to end it.
Take a gun, knife or get a rope in a high place and suspend it.
But before I’d jump, my thoughts would play out the scenario -
This wouldn’t help my family at all you know.
Then I’d think of it in a metaphor.
Stood on the stool of the house I was in;
He was the ceiling;
I was the floor.
He’d keep me going and tell me to try some more.
Because my hero,
Before he left-
I felt like a knight on horseback,
And he was my sword.
All is dull and dim now,
I can’t even see forward.
Life.
I’m lost without my hero.
I thought he never cared,
And then he’d surprise me and give me his last Oreo!
And I’ll repeat,
It hurts me:
Cut’s still really deep.
Because he’ll never see me grow old.
My wife, my kids or my wedding photo.
If he was here,
I’d ask him to rap with me:
He’d be Tupac, and I’d be Biggie…
I know this sounds silly.
But this is what helps me release the pain;
Lets the darkness seep out from within me:
Bleeds me from insane to sane…
And at one point I would’ve packed it all in to be in a black box.
For now I’ll settle for a pipe and being poor.
But I can’t be living a life of social security.
And yes, I drive a banged up car:
It gets me close, beyond and far.
That’s what they’re there for.
Not for people to point, stare and get overwhelmed by a pseudo superstar!
You think you have authority because you’ve got metal wrapped around leather and that’s supposed to phase me?
Please.
If the world were blind:
What would they see?
And I’m not even justifying becoming damn right arrogant and pompous because anyone can articulate eloquently.
That defeats the purpose of education for me…
I just want to feel again…
Feel what you feel…
See what you see…
That’s true knowledge and wisdom.
Look to the scriptures and the Israelites;
They didn’t jump around, eat well and recreationally fly kites!
They went through hell on earth.
And they still worked hard to provide for their kindred.
All was lost and platoed until that vision of the birth.
And that’s when people REALLY got hurt.
Yet, still, Moses prevailed and Pharo’s empire derailed…
Bet he wished he had a ship to sail when those waves took him and his armada;
Just as they were on the Israelites’ tail…
But what comes to mind is even Moses prayed and doubted when he faced that sea.
He thought he’d failed.
I can apply a degree of empathy…
And feel what he felt; as he knelt; on that sea bed…
Cause when I’ve got my head; on the floor; praying and hoping to be cured:
I feel the words resonate in my very bones.
Worse yet, like him momentarily,
I constantly feel completely and utterly alone…
Losing a hero.
