It’s been a while!
Hello again! It’s been a long time since I have posted on this blog. I don’t really have a valid excuse for this, so I’m very sorry!
Not only has it been a while since I have posted on my blog, it’s been a while since I have felt anxious! It might have been because it’s been Christmas half-term, and I have been so busy seeing family and friends back home that I’ve pushed through feeling scared or nervous because it will be a long time before I see them again. Whatever the reason, I have been very happy. With myself and my surroundings.
The days have gone past very quickly. I spent the first few weeks of the Christmas holidays, wishing the days away. (That might sound rude to those who I was with at that moment in time, but there was someone that I wanted to be with!)
Normally, when people find out that I can sometimes struggle with Anxiety, I feel embarrassed and I just think that they are going to turn their backs. Especially when talking to guys, I have always felt that when they notice my Anxiety they start to back away. It’s really difficult to find someone who is willing to help my anxious-ness. (I’m pretty sure that’s not a word but we will roll with it ;) )
But… low and behold, after a VERY embarrassing presentation that I had to do infront of about 8 people (and a certain someone was in that room) I realised I was being anxious and nervous over something very silly! For the past 3 years or so, I have started to care less and less of what others think. I have started to be myself and take full pride in the fact that I’m awkward, a lover of food, embarrassing and anxious. But in this presentation I was talking about Anxiety and as *he* was in the room I held back and started thinking in my head that what I was saying about Anxiety was completely useless and wasn’t worth mentioning. Therefore I started to doubt myself and just wanted to run out the room and run to China.
In my eyes, the presentation was an absolute flop. I don’t think my legs have ever shook that much! After the presentation I went with him outside and he said that he enjoyed it. I told him straight up that I thought he wouldn’t like it and that I must have sounded ridiculous talking about Anxiety. He shook his head and said with a smile “No not at all! It’s good you can talk about it”. From that moment I realised what an idiot I was being! I immediately realised that if he didn’t agree or didn’t like that fact I struggle with Anxiety then I shouldn’t want to be with him! Mainly for the fact that Anxiety is a big part of my life!
I hadn’t met someone who was so ‘okay’ with my sometimes funny ways. It was refreshing and I began to not even think about feeling anxious. Maybe it was because I had someone who showed me that I have no need to care what others think about Anxiety. It’s their problem. What I’m saying is that I’m very grateful to not be feeling the horrible feeling of Anxiety every day. It’s a change that I’m 100% ok with!
Over the past month and a bit, I have noticed a few things that might help you if you’re feeling anxious.
- Do something everyday that makes you happy. Whether thats just going on a little walk or busting out some sick moves to Abba.
- Find a creative outlet…maybe drawing or creating some awesome music on Garage Band (download on App Store).
- Refresh the people that are around you. You may realise that the reason why you feel Anxious is because of those who you hang out with.
- Try and avoid stressful situations. I know that this is easier said than done but trust me, it is a God send! I realised that when it came to the end of term last year that a lot of people became stressed because of upcoming deadlines. They would talk to me and say how stressed they were and for a long time, I began to feel stressed as they were stressing. It’s nice to help people but remember that you need to stay healthy and happy too!
- Download an app called ‘Headspace’. I will be doing a review on it soon. It teaches you brilliant breathing and calming techniques. Relaxation has never felt so good!
- Start saying no to things. I’m guilty to say that I sometimes say yes too often. And then I get stressed and anxious when I have to cancel or fit everything in. It’s a horrible feeling and hey, most people will be ok with you saying no…rather than saying yes and bailing.
I’ve been slacking on my Youtube channel lately as well. I hope you understand when I say that I’m taking a break. The thought of doing a video every week is making me feel a bit nauseous so I’m waiting until the time feels right.
I hope you have a lovely week! Have any of you made New Years resolutions? I’d love to hear if you have! Comment down below!
My Resolution is to ‘be more positive’. It’s about time to not look so hard into consequences and, in the words of Shia LaBeouf: “just do it!”
See you all soon! Keep being awesome!