Rape Culture: why it’s become “normal”
As a woman,we have hurdles to jump over every single day.We have to worry about walking alone,sometimes we even feel vulnerable just taking a bath in our own home because you never know if someone is watching you.Part of me thinks it’s become normal because as women,we want to do what men can do.Have a high paying job for instance.So how do they compensate for the fact that we make them question their own intellect? They (not all), dehumanize us.Degrade us,and may even be intimidated by us.And because some men are fueled by their ego,if it deflates they feel they have a right to treat us that way.Try to knock us down as many pegs as they can.That I believe is a contributing factor along with how you were raised as a boy.Boys look up to their fathers,if they see their fathers disrespecting their mothers,chances are they will be the same way toward women when they get older and in the same case act that way If their father isnt in the picture.On the same note,Jeffrey Dahmer was raised by two loving parents and still tortured and killed people.So I guess you can just be that type of person no matter the circumstances.
I know this paragraph sounds a bit sexist,so I’m sorry if it does.In a way I think it can be a realistic thought.
Does what we choose to wear even matter?
Sometimes we feel like we need to wear clothes that completely cover us because you never know who is going to say what,if you’re showing a little skin.We as women,are supposed to be proud of the bodies we have,and we should be able to wear what we want,and speak how want to speak without a man saying something obscene to us.
cat calling has become the norm.Hearing the whistles and the “hey girl,lemme holla at you for a second”.Then we think to ourselves, ‘maybe I shouldn’t of wore these jeans,they are a little tight' 'maybe I shouldn’t of wore this shirt,it is a little low cut’ 'maybe my hips sway too much when I walk’.The answer is no,it doesn’t matter,because those people will act that way regardless of clothing or looks.
The problem is we shouldn’t Blame ourselves for the actions of others.
We dont want to feel like a piece of juicy meat.But we go along just to get along.Say something perverted or mean back just to make ourselves feel less vulnerable and susceptible to assault.
Some of us feel more vulnerable speaking up.
Us women have been suppressed and made to feel like we should just keep our mouth’s shut for the sake or embarrassment.Because “boys will be boys”.Granted,a males brain is wired differently than a women’s but it is common human decency to not say what you’re thinking if it is inappropriate and could make the girl feel uncomfortable.Sometimes we pretend to feel comfortable because we don’t want problems to stem from what we say.
The less we say about it,the more we enable the behavioral patterns we see in men today.
If all of us just spoke up more,as individuals we could potentially be less of a target if you make the male feel stupid for opening his big mouth.That doesn’t take away from the fact that we still have to worry about bodily harm.We have to carry something with us where ever we go to help protect us.Because god forbid we encounter one of “those guys”
Let me tell a little story:
It’s sad but true.I’ll call this person Susie.
One day when Susie was about 13 years old,she took a walk with her older cousin to meet up with some of her guy friends to hang at their place.She thought nothing of it.When they arrived at this place,they realized it was an abandoned house.From the outside it didn’t seem like that.The guys were waiting in there already.One particular guy she wasn’t familiar with kept staring at her in a creepy way.He pulled out a box of porn mags and started reading them.susie leaned over to give her cousin something and the cousin said “watch out he’s going to put that pole up your butt” startled susie turned around and the guy was walking toward her pretty fast with a metal rod in his hand.she plopped back on the couch and he started laughing in a really strange way.
just because susie bent over,she didn’t realize she had just put herself at risk of being potentially sodomized with a metal rod.How can anyone normalize something that heinous? Let alone laugh about it?.Susie wasn’t wearing anything provocative,and she barely even talked the entire time.So what was his excuse? He didn’t have one.He was just a pedophile,at least that’s how it seemed.He was much older than the rest of us.
Anything can happen,anywhere,any time.
even Infront of friends it can happen.It can happen during the day or at night.It can happen on a busy street or in a vacant lot.We have to worry about our bodies being violated at any point.Rape Culture is so prevalent that we can’t even trust that nothing is going to happen around people.
Quite frankly it’s terrifying that treating women with such disrespect has became something that is engrained in some or them.As little kids we have to be warned about strangers.Good touch and bad touch.But does that even prepare you for the moment something does happen? No,it doesn’t.Nothing can.
Because Susie was too scared to move,and stayed in the vacant house until everyone left,was she “asking” for it to happen? Or can anyone even consider the fact that maybe she was too stunned and scared to even move in fear of that guy creeping up behind her? Because that is the truth.she was scared.But if you’re a male and you read this story,chances are you say that susie was asking for creepy porn guy to do some nasty shit to her because she didn’t leave when things got sketchy.
No woman asks for it.We just have to be more aware of our surroundings.And if you think we ask for it,and fail to understand from our point of view as to why it’s so concerning, then clearly no one taught you how to treat a woman.
Stay safe ladies.
-Miranda ✌& 💜