To starting over 🍻
I’m writing this blog,for the first time with an optimistic vibe.
I went from being on 2100 mlg of Gabapentin a day,and over the last 6 days I have been weaned down to 800 mlg.In a week and a half I will be off it completely.I can’t express how relieved I am to think that maybe I could be stable.That my bipolar has been destabilized from the Gabapentin and now maybe my symptoms won’t be as debilitating.
Let me start by saying if you are bipolar or struggle with anxiety or depression and you’re a poor metabolizer of medication,you should probably steer clear of this drug.It will heighten every negative symptom you have.It will overwhelm you,and it could take over your life.At least that’s what it did to me.
For the first time in almost 3 years,i feel a sense of relief.Im gaining some control back.I don’t expect getting off of it for me to be miraculously cured of my Bipolar.Im still very much bipolar.But maybe I can leave the house now without having a nervous breakdown.
I never anticipated getting on that medication that it would make me lose most of my ability to have an imagination.To have a lack of understanding when people talk to me,and to be in a rage over any little thing that annoyed me.
Today I feel lighter.I feel like a burden is slowly getting taken off of my shoulders.Maybe I can finally concentrate enough to write my book or even finish reading one.The fatigue drained the life out of me,day in and day out.
Today I don’t feel as tired,i feel a bit more awake and alive.I never want to experience the mental hell I was imprisoned in over the last 2 years or so.. again.
Maybe ill finally be free of it.I hope to be.Im a bird that’s been trapped in a cage for far too long.Its time for me to spread my wings and fly.
Peace & love