Donald Trump Jr. Finally Lives Up To His Name.

Donald Trump Jr. doesn’t look like his father. This would be an unfair comparison, or a false equivalency, if his name wasn’t Donald Trump Jr.

It also doesn’t help that his brother looks like a vampire that has been genetically engineered to carry the name “Donald Trump 2.”

PICTURED: Donald Trump Jr. & Also Donald Trump Jr.

The comparison is usually in Junior’s favor. He’s better looking than his father. He dresses just a twinge more reserved. He’s far less aggressive in media appearances, granted in a measured, sociopathic way. Which is why his recent Twitter faux pas was a refreshing victory of genetics winning the day and breaking through his Bret Easton Ellis-esque mask.

“This iPhone speaks many languages”

After hiring a Mob lawyer, Donald Trump Jr. got on Twitter and tweeted out his email chain between himself and British publicist Rob Goldstone. It links Don Jr. to a Russian official offering dirt on Hillary Clinton. There’s also pop star involved, because this is 2017.

The whole thing reeks vaguely of Junior taking the fall for Senior. It’s the kind of bonkers stupid that goes hand-in-hand with the name Donald Trump. That it was done on Twitter truly proves that the putrid Trump genetics flow all the way to Don Jr.’s bone marrow.

If Don Jr. ends up being the guy to take the fall for connections to Russia, he will not have a happy ending. His father is already talking about him like he’s dead.

The statements read like an obituary. “My son is a ‘great person, who loves our country.” Trump doesn’t show that kind of gratitude often, and never sincerely. “High quality person” is such a vague, impersonal description. It’s haunting to see him talk that way about his own child; to know that he is already justifying to himself that Russia will do what it’s been known to do.

The situation poses a very difficult situation for the President & WWE Hall of Famer. Donald Trump can’t set his son adrift on an ice flow. His only choice is to watch as either his eldest son dies in jail for treason, or Russia handles the situation. It’s essentially that season of The Sopranos where Tony takes Jackie Jr. under his wing and ends up having to….handle the situation.

Spoiler Alert: The season does not end well for Jackie Jr.

It would be a truly tragic situation for any father to deal with, especially when the child in question bears the father’s name. It would be torture for Donald Trump. But Donald Trump isn’t like other fathers. He’s lascivious to his daughter, abusive to his son, and overall a mean individual. As far as bearing his name, Donald Trump will use his son’s arrest, execution, or just general pariah label as a reason to FINALLY pass the moniker onto the one true Donald Trump Jr.

“I’m Daddy Jr. now…..”

Ross W Berman IV has music available at He can be heard every Monday on the RAW Rebellion on WrestleZone Radio.