Saying hi to strangers…Yeah that shit is funny

I am often accused of being a really outgoing person. I look for human interaction in most situations I am in. Despite what my astrological report says (See the last blog) I am really not afraid to come out of my cancerian shell. It actually gets me into trouble at times, but more often than that it helps me make friends.

I should go back to my childhood (I intend to give you the full story as you read through this blog). My parents (not just my dad) encouraged me to talk to people and interact with people my age, and much older. They weren’t afraid that everyone was trying to steal me, and take me to a dungeon to turn me into an indentured slave (SERIOUSLY PARENTS YOU CAN’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU READ IN THE PAPERS. WHO AM I KIDDING? READ ON YOUR FACEBOOK WALLS, except this shit right here, I am giving you pearls here kid). I remember vividly a couple of moments in my childhood, because they were horrifying for my mom in both instances.

One was when we were in church. I was looking around at all the men in the congregation and deciding what I wanted to be like when I grew up. I began searching for looks I wanted, and I found a few men who I thought looked cool. I chose all the men in the congregation who had male pattern baldness. The kind that leaves you looking like George Costanza or even better a Ferengi with their head covering only at the back of their head. A strap of hair that only covers from your ears to just below the crown of your head. I will never know why I thought this was what I wanted, and I fucking sure as hell hope the universe wasn’t listening to me when I made that wish as a completely uninformed child. (PLEASE UNIVERSE I BEG YOU LEAVE MY HAIR ALONE.) I was pointing, how rude (said in the most annoying Stephanie Tanner voice, btw she got smoking hot!!!), and one of the men in the congregation came up to me with my parents after the sermon. I was petrified like a child is when a towering man comes directly to you. He asked my parents if he could talk to me to find out why I was pointing at him.

“I saw you pointing at me during the sermon, do you know it is very rude to point at someone?” We went to a baptist church, and they are fucking amazing at laying on the guilt, trust me I still feel guilty for the smallest things in my life (“Shame on you, you make baby Jesus cry when you do that”). “Yes” I replied. “Why were you pointing at me? Do you know it made me feel uncomfortable?” What I said next must have made him feel a little bit better about himself. Very scared I replied “I was pointing because I was picking out all the men in the church who I wanted to have hair like when I grow up.” I still remember his face, covered in shock. He paused for a second, laughed a full belly laugh and rubbed my head. My mother was horrified, I also remember. (Thanks mom, you might not remember this story, but it was at Hespeler Baptist and the man had a big beard and a full horseshoe pattern baldness, and was quite young to have it.) I was very scared to say this but my parents encouraged me to say what I was thinking.

Around the same time of this story I remember another story. This one is not okay for a full grown adult to say, and it is hardly okay for a child to say, but it is a legitimate “kids say the darndest things”, and it is NOT intended to be racist. I don’t know how I am going to get through this one unscathed. Alright here it goes.

We were walking down the street, in downtown Preston, a small neighbourhood in my hometown. I want to start by saying, it was a small town in Canada, in the 1980’s. Cultural diversity had not hit my town and I had never seen a black man before. EVER. We are walking down the street and for some reason I had just become fascinated with spitting. I remember my mom admonishing me for spitting on our walk. I was walking behind her and she was already pissed at me for being a bad little boy, when I looked up and saw my very first black man ever. Guess who has a problem with pointing? This kid does. I point at him and say (PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR THIS I WAS LIKE 3) “Mom why does that man’s skin look like poop?” Have you ever seen a mom get so embarrassed, smack a child and simultaneously say sorry in every single way possible, while smacking the child repeatedly. That is exactly what happened. I remember this so vividly because my mom never hit us, she would calmly talk us through the things we had done wrong to help us understand, but in this instance It was like when Ralphie had said “oh fudge” but he didn’t say oh fudge, he has inadvertently made an incredibly awful racial remark based purely out of curiosity, and trying to explain what he meant by relating it to the WRONG item. COMPLETELY.

I bet my mom had wished she hadn’t encouraged me to ask questions and talk to people whenever I wanted to on that day. I also didn’t get to have my free cookie from the grocery store that day. Yes I cried. I didn’t understand what I had done so wrong. When I got home my parents explained why it was so bad and all of the things that were historically awful about what I had done.

Okay so those are stories of me getting into trouble. Now there are some really cool stories that have happened as a result of talking to strangers. I was in Saskatchetoon (Saskatoon, SK) enjoying a meal alone at the bar because I was traveling for business. A couple came up to the counter. He was a cool looking guy, and he was obviously celebrating something. She looked rough, like drugs rough, and as soon as she talked I knew she was heavy into coke. Whatever, I didn’t make rash judgements about people anymore, and I definitely didn’t ask her how she got her raspy voice. I asked them what they were celebrating, and I came to find out that John had just wrapped filming a Canadian B horror movie (and that means like D in U.S. movie terms) called WolfCop. I quickly liked John and we shared some drinks. I was ready to finish my meal when John invited me out to more drinks. We hopped a cab and he took me to a locals only place. We drank Pilsner, a terrible beer here in the prairies that is cheap as fuck and still way better than any American pisswater. We went to three bars that night, John paid for everything, and even got a cab to drop me off at the hotel completely hammered. It was an amazing night, and he became a good friend of mine, even spending time living with me after his life circumstances changed drastically.

Some other instances of talking to completely random strangers that are really cool was on my travel I did this summer. I can’t even tell you how many awesome people I met in beautiful countries. There was Kati in Poland, a gorgeous German girl, whom I met up with again later in Amsterdam. Cade, who amorously chased my trip mate Brittany and made me laugh so incredibly hard when we put alka-seltzer in our mouths and pretended to have rabies in a small mountain town in the Tatra mountains called Zakopane. Shani who I met at the most amazing hostel in Tel-Aviv. She is a gypsy Stralian who loves hola hooping and happens to currently live in my city right now. Aaron who gave up his corporate job to travel the world for two years with an 80L backpack and a computer, he is still out there somewhere and he checks in every once in a while. Dutch (his real name) from WAGGA WAGGA, Australia who took a beat down VW van and an airstream trailer and turned them into a booming coffee business. His hair in awesome dreadlocks and John Lennon rose coloured round lens glasses. The shy german kid who climbed Masada with me at 3am and hung his feet over a cliff with me during the sunrise. He later got so drunk alone that he came running into my room yelling “let’s make a party” in his best Uter from the Simpsons accent. A group of amazing college girls on a 4 hour ferry ride from Mykonos to Athens who happily listened to all the messed up things that had happened to Brit and I in Greece, especially sleeping on a busy restaurant floor while other patrons ate at tables next to me. The beautiful couple who let us stay at their house in Amsterdam, sight unseen based solely on a mutual affiliation with Under30Experiences.com. The amazing Irish guy who drove us 4 hours from Dublin to the Cliffs of Moher so I could once again give my mother a heart attack by hanging my body over the edge of 400m cliffs. He turned out to be a creepy stalker but it happens. The two Danish bankers who told us the funniest story about being 7'1" and breaking both arms simultaneously in a snowboarding accident and what true love means. (HINT: it’s when your girlfriend wipes your ass for you cause both of your arms are in casts and you can’t bend to reach for yourself. MARRY THAT GIRL)

It’s not always hilarious when you say hi to a stranger. You might find out that they are living on the street because their father molested and beat them senseless everyday so it somehow sleeping in -30 degrees is a better option for life. You get them some dinner, give them a warm coat, offer to take them back to your place so they can shower, try to get them into a shelter, which they refuse and wish that they finally find some peace.

You might make their day, because they are 87 years old and the only person they get to talk to is their doctor who never really has enough time for them. She might turn out to be one of the most vibrant women you ever meet. A War Bride who followed her man back to Canada to start a new life, have 4 kids, and gave up an exciting career as a showgirl in Europe. She will tell you all about her exploits and still be able to do a pretty high kick, and shake her hips like she is 21 again. It will make her smile so big and she will be happier than she has been in years when she tells you about how much she loved her “Muffin” even though he hated being called that. She might make you feel more than you have ever felt when she comes to you and says “Andrew, I wanted to let you know that you have made me so happy these past 8 months. I am going to die this month, and I want to let you know I am so glad to have met you.” You will smile and tell her that isn’t okay to say. That she will live a lot longer. She will quietly and in a calm voice say to you again she is choosing to die this month, and you will laugh it off. On the last day before the end of the month she will pass away surrounded by her 4 kids, holding onto the hand of her new lover she met at the retirement home they both lived in. I guarantee you this, despite being at work when you find this out, you will without a doubt in my mind, fall to your knees and cry. And it will completely be worth it, because her kids will come into the home and ask to speak with you, and thank you for spending so much time with mom in her last days. They will ask for you by name.

My point is this. We walk around in our day to day life completely anesthetized by our phones, and our fear that everyone is going to steal our wallets that we can miss out on some of the most astounding interactions we will ever have. I am so grateful that I am the way I am. Weird, inquisitive, and willing to look stupid by saying hi to complete strangers. Without that quirk, I would have a pretty boring life. Try it out, say hi to someone, they may just change your life completely, and I promise you this you’ll have some crazy adventures along the way.

I hope you enjoyed,

Andrew.