Thank you for putting into words what my and my boyfriend’s relationship looks like. He wants to be married but I struggle with it because I feel he deserves someone “less fucked up” and more emotionally/physically available on a consistent basis. I see his love for me every day, yet I question it time and time again. I love him more than I ever thought I would be able to love a man, yet I yell at him and tell him to leave. But, like your husband, he also patiently stays. My therapist says marriage can be triggering. Makes me sad that something usually so celebrated in people’s lives has also become a terrifying concept in mine. How do you eloquently explain that to the love of your life? Thank you for writing about the ripple effect of trauma. Thank you.