Lay Your Cards Out
Christie
308

For the record, I also created an account *just* to comment on your post in solidarity.

HOLY FRACKING SHEIDT!! You wrote about MY experience with the MES, previously known as the Camarilla!! I used to play Evangeline de la Cruz. I LOVED her. But then bullshit happened. I had to leave my home in Virginia for my and my son’s safety. I ended up being forcibly kissed by random players, random people would kiss the tops of my breasts without asking, I’ve been groped by more people than I can remember, other women have IGNORED the fact that my husband and I are in a monogamous relationship, and gone after my husband WHILE LOOKING ME IN THE EYE, I’ve had to fight against Jon Noble and his “just this side of the line of not breaking the rules” bullshit, I spent MONTHS in conflict resolution where *I* wasn’t allowed to play at all, but he WAS allowed to play as if nothing was going on, I’ve been called every possible name in the book for speaking out and not taking the bullshit …. and in the end I had to leave LARP behind.
Now just the thought of attempting to LARP sends me into a panic attack. The idea of being in a room with any of the people who were part of the bad side of my experience makes me nauseous … to the point that I had a hard time enjoying being at a friend’s wedding last month. Do I miss the good parts? So very much so, yes. But when it gets to the point where the OOC crap, and the blatant disregard for a player’s feelings because “Oh, it’a all IC and we don’t mean anything by it” gets to the point where you cry while trying to put your make-up on, then it’s time to just walk away. I’ve maintained friendships with the people who matter to me. I try to maintain good relationships with the people who were important to my husband when he was also LARPing. I mean, that’s how we met.
But going back to the game, going to the conventions, or even thinking about going back to the online forums are *NOT* an option for me. I’ve tried table top, and it’s not even close to the same. I just …. don’t game anymore. The Camarilla / MES killed gaming for me. I want it back SOOOOO badly. But I don’t want the extra crap that comes with it.