My Letter to Google

Dear Google,

In the world of nice decent peaceful looking “web”, you Mr. Google with your baby looking multicolored logo, you quietly came up with a nasty algorithm, an algorithm that even keyboard wouldn't have known of your domination on the so-called internet.

In the name of search you quietly indexed all website and what not? You didn't stop there with your witty ideas, copied the famous rule of ‘Divide and Rule’ and applied it to compete with search results and made those peace loving brands to fight among themselves, in the name of quality score you cleverly started manipulating the bids and kept the campaign managers in hustle, you are the one because of whom the big fat traditional agency started playing their tricky wacky games to acquire the new clients…

So much so, that the point when few smart SEO expert had started understanding your, algorithm. You became so greedy, that under the hood of cute looking animals you started penalizing the organic search results, some of my SEO friends are still getting nightmare of Penguin, Panda, hummingbird and what not.

Under the name of candies, like jelly-bean, lollipop, ice cream you took the attention of those sweet little kids and made them your slave for candy crush, Farmville …. These kids are no longer kids of their own parents, you broke the human emotional bonds. They don’t need a grandmother or a father to answer their questions anymore. They just go Goggling on you Mr. Google.

At times, I thanked god every day that you are still a website and I will not open you again, but I think you have started bribing the Gods too … you came on my desktop!!! I allow none, to even change wallpaper on my desktop, but you must have forcefully and cruelly made that poor ‘chrome’ lose weight and made it feather light. I can imagine ‘chrome’ sweating it out and crying for water on that Treadmill… full credits to your evil karmas Mr. Google.

It kept me wondering for a long, why the heck you got him on my desktop? Not so long until I realized your game plan, it was for non-other reason, you bloody wanted to kill that tiny poor fox? Fox are clever species, why did you put that fox on fire? You kept him alive, to die on a slow death track … Don’t you feel pity of that animal; this is the height of cruelty on earth.

Like a devil you had started building labs (Google labs), so that skilled developers can contribute in your inhuman plans. What have you given back to those developers who relentlessly coded for a better cause? Like a rising villain you killed Google labs!! Who told you to stop that happy going Google lab and Google reader? I had a hell lot of feeds residing on Google Reader, and after its shutdown, have not been able to cope with any other reader.

I stayed cool for a while and did a lot of brain-storming, I realized that maybe you are getting older, and hence stopping these services, it happens to older mate, they start falling short of their sight, start losing their vision, but NO! Again like an super grandfather you came up with your own ‘Google Glasses’, you could have come up with some simple glasses to improve your vision, else consulted a doctor why are you in such a hurry to show everything to everyone on the move? Let the humans breathe a little bit.

I have now started reading your mind Mr. Google, now you want to take over the sky with Google drones, driverless cars project snatch the hard earned bread and butter of human drivers, ‘Google X Elevator’ project to take humans in space.. so much so that you are also planning to predict the future of human race, Mr. Google don’t ever try to be our GOD of everything, I can easily throw you out of my life, but remember i will not leave you, I’ll keep a keen eye on your every move.

I am watching you Google !!


Rushikesh Khadtare (Avid Googler :) )

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