Too Many Red Flags

Russel Lolacher
Nov 5 · 2 min read

Are you paying attention?

Through my blog Do More with L.E.S. (formerly The UPsell), I can’t get away from talking about relationships. The platform is all about how we can always be better at leading others, engaging our staff and serving customers so the common denominator has to relationship-building.

Since it’s so top of my mind, and all relationships are personal, I found I had to write about the metaphorical land mines I’ve stepped on in my own life.
This was inspired as so many, MANY people I know are suddenly ending long-term relationships and slowly returning to the world of dating.
A lot of heartbreak and change is well underway.
My heart breaks for them.

As they are about to approach single-dom, and as I approach my 45th birthday as a single man, I thought I’d share a bit of my own earned “Red Flag Wisdom.”
(And to be clear, these are red flags for varying types of relationships, not just romantic ones)

- If they don’t know if they want to be in a relationship, and you do. RED FLAG
- If your partner has a vague and continuing relationship with their past Ex. RED FLAG
- If the relationship model is you give and they take. RED FLAG
- If your partner finds it funny to belittle you. RED FLAG.
- If your partner is about them and never about you. RED FLAG
- If your partner’s words never match their actions. RED FLAG
- If your partner is an asshole. (It’s not cute, it’s a…) RED FLAG.
- If you’re in a relationship and you’re staying in it because you think they will change. RED FLAG
- If the people you surround yourself with hate your partner. RED FLAG
- If your partner has no healthy relationships of their own. RED FLAG.
- If your partner is keeping your relationship a secret. RED FLAG

Just a list created from cautionary tales. Hopefully they’ll help someone to navigate their new single world.
Any you’d add?

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