I Am My Father’s Son
This article is about how I learned to love my father and myself thanks to a presence and force exponentially greater than myself. I do not fully understand the mystery of this presence and force, but choose to believe it is God.
It’s funny that I’m scanning these words, sentences, and paragraphs for errors even as I write. My free writing, free wheeling self vanishes when discussing my father. He was incredibly stern at times and rarely offered a compliment.
Understanding a little about his history sheds light on the difficulty he had offering encouragement and positive reinforcement. Put plain and simple, he was never given any either. He carried the tendencies of his father, and I carry the tendencies of him. Awareness of this was key to accepting and loving myself, my father, others, and God as Father.
I also carry the tendencies of my grandfather, my great-grandfather, my great-great grandfather, and so on. Are you beginning to see a pattern here? All of these men and those before them live within me to either use blindly, wildly, and with little concern for others or to use for the benefit of others. I’ve used them selfishly and servingly and everything in between.
I am thankful for the ancestral shoulders of my forefathers. They’ve given me a sturdy, solid, sound mind and body. I am also a child of The Father who created us all. Without diving into my pain and settling into who I am through my familial ancestors, I would’ve never surrendered to the Father of us all. Folks, you can go as deep as you wish here. If you want to dive a bit deeper, we are all related and connected. We are all a part of the same family. There is no separation.
So, if I hate my father, I must also hate every single human being on the planet as well. There’s no way around this, folks. I cannot hate someone and love someone simultaneously. This is akin to drinking a glass of water and hating the first drink but loving the second; hating the third but loving the fourth; hating the fifth but loving the sixth and so on. It becomes apparent very, very quickly this cannot be done. The only difference is my perception of the water. The water is the same.
This is true of our human family. We are all of the same water. If I hate one individual, loving another will not happen until I fully feel with certainty that all of us are connected. I may think I’m loving like a champ with all of my heart, but I’m not. It is an impossibility to hate one and love another.
If you want to dive a little deeper. Those drinks of water I’m alternately loving and hating are me as well. We are roughly 60–70 percent water folks. If I hate that water I’m drinking, I hate me too. This goes for everything under the sun. We are of the same stuff. Hate that tree? Then I hate myself as well. Hate the color of that tree? Then I hate myself as well. Hate the shape of that tree? Then I hate myself as well. Everything we sense is us, folks. We are everything and everything us.
I simply cannot hate my father and love myself and others. I have to love my father in spite of his misgivings, flaws, and parenting mistakes. Why? I have these flaws and then some. If I hate my father’s flaws, I hate myself too. I love my father. He did some not so great stuff as a father but I’ve done some not so great stuff as well. Further, I’ve never been a parent and have no idea what it’s like to be one. I cannot judge. My father has dipped his toes into the ocean of not so great stuff and so have I.
Here’s where I began to separate from my father and Father: “ Oh my god, my dad is crazy and lazy and worthless?” “ He’s crazy just like his dad.” Then as I aged these things: “He’s way out in left field and has no grasp on reality.” “ He doesn’t have a clue how the real world works.” As I aged further: “ I think he understands quite a bit more than I give him credit for.” “ Um…he was right about that.” All of these thoughts, feelings, and concepts not only prevented me from fully understanding my father, they prevented me from fully understanding myself. Only when I settled into and accepted myself did I fully accept my father and allow the Father to shine into, around, and through my darker areas. Am I healed forever and ever, a flawless human being? No. I’m a fallen one, friends. I need constant guidance, support, love, and direction.
This is nothing new, folks. There are Biblical references, Buddhist references, Hindu references, Muslim references, and tons of books written about thinking, feeling, and acting lovingly toward self, others, and The Universe. Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, Rhonda Byrne, Brene Brown, Thich Nhat Hahn, Pema Chodron, Deepak Chopra, and many others write about it for a living. The underlying truth these folks are trying to convey is that the fullness and richness of our Universe will not show itself to us unless we love…everything, including ourselves.
What is outside the Universe? Nothing. What is inside the Universe? Everything. My father is within the Universe. Although I’m still deeply wounded by some of the things he did, I love him.
I love him for doing the best he possibly could to take care of me. I love him for sacrificing himself for his country by fighting in Vietnam. I love him for never giving up and being a survivor. I love him for just being him. He’s a pretty cool fella.
By truly loving my father the doors to The Father cracked open and shined a light into my marble of a world. I saw patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior repeating themselves over and over and over. Folks, I’m not going to lie here, I thought I was truly gone to the world forever. Checked out. Bye Felicia.
I had to settle and be still. When I did, my patterns were revealed. I laughed and cried at the same time. They were incredibly silly, truly. I repeated the same cycles of thought, followed the same emotional paths, felt the same feelings, and acted out the same behaviors without end. Still do sometimes.
Let me preface this piece of advice. I have four dollars in savings, a 2007 Jeep, and this laptop to my name. If you’re looking for advice on how to be a billionaire entrepreneur, you’re reading the wrong article. If you want to know how to face the world as it is and truly love yourself and others in the process, keep reading.
The only way to live Joyfully, Peacefully, and Healthily is to never close. Always remain open to love and loving, and The Universe will respond accordingly. Friends, there’s no other way The Universe works. Special thanks to my father, Raymond Hunt, the rest of my family, and God.

