Taking Risks and Dancing with Fear
Conventional wisdom tells us that decision making should be based on rational thinking, but we’re also advised to listen to our gut feeling.
While I’ve always had good instincts and my gut has yet to disappoint me, there’s another kind of not-so-rational feeling that is much harder to keep in check. I’ve noticed that people sometimes justify fear-based decisions with excuses like “I just wasn’t feeling it” or “my gut is telling me not to do this”.
Your gut is a good instinct and you should trust it. But fear is an entirely different beast. The ability to tell those two apart is critical, and it is something that I’ve been trying to master over the years.
All sorts of fears keep people back. Fear of public speaking, fear of failing, fear of not being good enough, of being laughed at, of being disappointed or embarrassed, just to name a few.
Great business leaders like Sheryl Sandberg or Ed Catmull have publicly admitted to sometimes feeling like a fraud, which proves that even the most confident and successful people have their own insecurities. To say we fear nothing is to lie to ourselves and, worse, to rob us of a great opportunity.
Some people talk about overcoming our fears, implying the ultimate goal is to avoid being afraid. That is the worst thing we can do: avoiding fear means we are getting comfortable.
And comfort is the ultimate obstacle to innovation. Unless we purposefully put ourselves in a position where we feel uncomfortable, we will never push boundaries or take any risks — a necessary step in order to achieve anything of true value.
My biggest fear in life is never reaching my full potential. But I know that in order to pursue it, there is only one requirement: I must be willing to dance with fear.
Seth Godin describes the paralyzing effect of fear perfectly when he talks about the lizard brain. I’ve embraced his philosophy for dealing with fear: using it like a compass. If I’m facing something that makes me fearful, I know that’s where I’m supposed to go. It’s been taking me to all kinds of uncomfortable places. Places I’ve never been. Scary, unchartered territory where great things happen.
Recently I was facing a hard decision after someone offered me a chance to get in on the groundwork of something potentially World changing. The problem is, I’d just started working on something of my own, a vision that I’d already fallen in love with and couldn’t give it up.
After many sleepless nights, there was this particular evening when I prayed about it, talked with my husband and sought counsel from someone far wiser than I will ever be. When morning came, I had a clear mind: my gut feeling was telling me to say yes. So I did.
But immediately after I said it, I felt weird — I thought a weight would be lifted off my shoulders after I made a decision. I was wrong. Instead, I felt like an elephant had just sat on my chest.
I called my husband: “I have a bad feeling about this”, but as I uttered those words, I knew it was a lie. I recognized this feeling: it was fear creeping in. Fear I was in over my head. Fear I wouldn’t be able to live up to this huge challenge.
So I did what I always do. I patted Lizzy (that’s my pet name for fear) on the back and immediately felt comfort in my decision. My compass was working just fine.
Someone said entrepreneurship is like jumping off a cliff and figuring out how to build a parachute on your way down. (Funny thing, I’m kind of afraid of heights). But I’m jumping for the third time and if there’s one thing I’ve learned the last two times is that the crash is never as fatal as we think it will be.
And as Richard Branson said, “If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity, but you are not sure you can do it, say yes — then learn how to do it later!”
Are you willing to dance with fear?
