When I don’t get it right, I always blame it on my poor and ineffective listening. With my eagerness to get it right away, I am always in a hurry to say “yes” to my boss from all the task that he wanted me to do for the day. Yes, unfortunately 60% of it aren’t done the way it is supposed to be done. I thrive. Instead of getting frustrated along the way, I look for means hence the problem has been identified — poor listening, so I rekindle and look for whatever solution the least that I can do to solve it. I should get away from this. It made me unproductive end of day and I felt demotivated hearing my boss of his favorite line — ”your incompetence doesn’t surprise me”. I took the challenge. I have to grow. I don’t just wish to impress him but worked harder to effectively listen and get things done the way he laid his instruction. Not for my boss’ compliment anymore but for my self long term.
Gone through tests. Experimenting left and right what works well for me and how to become an effective listener. Aside from my fear and being emotionally disturbed hearing my boss shouting on me, in fairness to him, he made me feel at ease and ceased the “aloft mode” I have towards him when he explained to me that there’s nothing for me to be afraid or create a large firing tension when he talks (good thing my “gesture response” is electrifying) because that’s normal for him. That’s how he raise his voice when he talks. I mean the tone of voice maybe shouting/louder than I thought but for him that’s normal. Well, never been engaged into a work environment culture where loud voice sounded normal. So its really kinda new and disturbing for me.
Here’s what I did and apparently applied it to effectively listen:
Using engaging body language to show them that you are paying full attention by giving them direct eye contact, facing them as they talk to you and nodding your head appropriately. Nod to let them know that you get the thoughts and you are digesting it. This is somewhat hard especially when your mind isn’t focused and loaded. So you have to empty your mind first on your way to your boss or to someone who will call you to give such task or wanted to converse with you. Go with an empty bag pack and load it right away — as quick as you can by picking the pieces, of what’s being escalated to you for your to-do task.
Like twitter, to actually follow is just a tap away. Use verbal responses. Typical verbal responses are “yes”, “right”, “okay”, “I see”, “oh”, “got it”- but make sure you really get it! Don’t pretend. It is going to be a disaster later when you submit your product. It is not healthy and it kills time to go back to your boss and ask again his instruction. Surely, it will make the iron hot and only will lost your good energy vibes for the day. It kills your day when first hour of your shift, you get such stunning remarks of sh*t from your boss. Everybody really is on my shoe.
Reflecting is restating the content and the feeling of the speaker’s words. By the act of restating, you in effect become a mirror image of the speaker’s thoughts and feelings. Repeat at least a phrase of the instruction. Not literally that you will lost your way, that you have to keep silent because you have to reflect! It is rephrasing, restating, in this way, you are building trust and you gave him an assurance that you really understand his instruction. It will also build confidence on your part and justify that you listen effectively.
4. Remaining Silent
Sometimes its very helpful if, as a listener, you simply allow people to vent or speak without saying anything at all. If the situation calls for silence, then you have to remain silent and absorb the thoughts silently. These situations were the dramas of life. Closest friends shared pain, needs your advise, shared bad experiences thus you have to keep silent and listen attentively to get the point and understand what’s going on, why it happened and how it happened. Then throw away your full packed thoughts and be sensitive also.
If you really invest your time and effort to effectively listen, the pay-off makes it well worth the effort. The benefits of effective listening will make you productive. It will allow you (as listener) to accurately identify the concerns, needs and issues of the speaker. Moreover, it helps both listener and speaker to stay focused on the situation at hand. Efficiency-wise, it rocks! It’l be easy for you to run fast on the race of deadline for completion of the given task when you effectively listen. It builds a sense of ownership and commitment. Thus, do not let sleeping dogs lie — get a life, rock on, Listen Loudly! Listen attentively and effectively.👂