The 5 things you think about while on a date.

We’ve all been there, the inevitable first date that’s super awkward with a sprinkling of desperation because you’ve been single for too long. You finally find someone willing to take a chance on you (pardon the abba pun). After years of bombarding Facebook with your insanely annoying “H8 being single” statuses whenever your drunk (quickly followed the next morning with an love being single/I don’t need a man status).

These are the five things you think about while on a date.

  1. Is there food in my teeth?

You spend a few minutes in the bathroom every so often just making sure you haven’t gotten pieces of food stuck in your teeth.

Which unfortunately leads to you making a face similar to that of Nicholas Cage.

2. Am I coming off as desperate?

The worry that you’ll jump the gun and ask him to marry you after a shot of tequila is constant in your mind. Sometimes by worrying about coming off as desperate you end up actually coming off as desperate.

This is basically you by the end of the night, after a couple of drinks and an unfortunate loss of caring about looking desperate.

3. Should I kiss them or wait until they kiss me?

This question is the worst of all of them because neither of you really knows the answer. Which can lead to the dreaded scary awkward kiss.

It makes you look like your eating the other person instead of kissing them.

Like this:

4. Is this awkward, should I mention the awkwardness?

No. The simple answer to that is no, don’t you dare mention how awkward it is to your date. Odds are they’re feeling the same, but by even mentioning the word awkward it makes the situation 10 times more awkward.

Nobody wants to end up in an awkward situation that has been made more awkward by the other persons awkwardness.

Your date might get so awkward if you ask that question and end up building a menu fort like this one in disgust.

5. Finally, number 5 the last of our list but not least. Did I make too many bad puns?

To put it simply, if he made some too he probably enjoyed your puns. If he didn’t he probably wanted you to stop and was contemplating running in the opposite direction.

If you made any of these terrible puns and he didn’t reply, you probably wont be receiving that phone call tomorrow or ever.

“I’m bready to eat”

“Water you looking at”

If they order a steak and regret it don’t tell them they’ve made a “huge mis-steak”.

Basically just act normal and be yourself.

Just don’t act normal like these guys do, because yes you will look as weird as you think.

That concludes this list.

Tell me what you’ve though of on a date, or tell me your worst date story.

Thanks for reading !

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