Hi Ning,

Great introduction. I like the way you gave the audience something to think about so early on. Lots of rhetorical questions makes the audience stop to really think.

Also great that your mentioned the ‘Granny Rule’. It makes you stop to reconsider the next time you press send huh?

Well referenced. Great job.

However, i believe you need some further improvements in terms of

1. Sentence construction.

“Technology as a form of communication has taken over as social media platforms such as Twitter, Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat.”

This sentence is confusing. Can you please rephrase this?

2. More explanation/ analysing

“With a mobile phone at their fingertips, people would rather hide behind their screens and communicate than face to face communication”

Please tell me why you think this way. What has made you conclude that people ‘would rather hide behind their screens than communicate face to face’ ? Are you the same? Give me your perspective and opinions on this.