Dear Stewart,
You have no idea what your post meant to me. Like you, I live a charmed life but like you, everyone’s definition of charmed is different. Like you, I was recently diagnosed with MDS (look me awhile to learn to spell it)and had a hip replacement three weeks ago. Yes, I needed a platelet transfusion before and two blood transfusions after.
Now about the charmed stuff. You summarized yours perfectly so here’s my effort:
I am a well-educated, well-travelled woman who learned about ‘real life’ in a most unexpected way. For ease of understanding, I’m going with bullet points:
Valentine’s Day 2002: Diagnosed with Stage 3B breast cancer, started chemo
July 2002: Entered jail for securities fraud. Experienced humiliation, disgrace, loss. Wanted to die. Survived to find my purpose, criminal justice reform.
Sept 2002: Had mastectomy in jail (Yes, horrific)
Dec. 2002: Entered prison, started more chemo, then radiation
April 2003: I watched my 25 year old cellmate die ironically of undiagnosed myeloid leukemia, because she was denied a blood test. Her pain was excruciating as her body shut down.
2003–2009: Watched others die of medical neglect. Listened to endless stories about rape, abuse, incest, poverty, fear, loss, addiction and horrific domestic violence. Stories I can never forget.
March 2009: Survived and was released, very blessed with community support.
August 2009-April 2016: Founded a non-profit organization (Gina’s Team, named for my late cellmate) to bring educational programs into the women’s prison in AZ (Built it to a very successful prison program with an 11% recidivism rate in seven years. It is on-going although I’ve stepped aside to form another nonprofit.)
November 2009: Reunited with my husband David who also served time (same issue)
August 2010: Wrote a memoir about the prison experience, The Slumber Party From Hell.
April 15, 2014: David died of massive and undiscovered cancer (He was an Air Force pilot and veteran, (mis)treated by the VA.) I had to tell him he was going to die (a terrible thing to have to do) and we had three weeks to say goodbye, a blessing compared to others’ experiences.
April 16, 2014: My world turned upside down. The grief was unbearable. Finances (social security) cut in half, no life insurance (after prison), the need to move, the loss of my partner who KNEW ME, believed in me, loved me, encouraged me, understood me. My best friend, lover, companion, my everything. My purpose, criminal justice reform, kept me alive.
January 2016: Astonished to be invited to be one of 23 Americans to be a guest of the First Lady at President Obama’s final State of the Union address, representing criminal justice reform.
June 2016: Founded REINVENTING ReEntry, new nonprofit 501(c)3 whose mission is to create a shift in the way our culture regards former prisoners, thus providing them a fair chance at jobs, housing, volunteering and community involvement.
June 2016: Honored to be a panelist at the White House sponsored summit, The United State of Women (on justice reform and reentry for women).
November 2016: Honored to be one of fourteen speakers at a final White House convening for leaders in justice reform
So you see, despite humiliation and disgrace, I’ve survived advanced breast cancer while in prison. I watched my cellmate and my husband die. I’ve struggled against all odds to build two successful organizations to educate both inmates and the public about our system of (in)justice. And I’ve been invited to the White House three times in one year. Yes, I’ve been from the Big House to the White House. Charmed or not? What I do know is, it’s my journey. Just like your life experience is your journey. We can make the best of it or the worst of it. Sounds like we’ve both chosen the best.
And now we have this pesky MDS. For me, they think it might be due to all the chemo and radiation I had fighting breast cancer but who knows? I’m going on the assumption that I’ll be part of the 70% who survive this disease without turning into leukemia. I have a lot more work to do and I need all my energy. People are still dying in prison and reentry is a horrible nightmare. We don’t need more prisons; we need a reinvention of the system. I think one of the reasons I decided to write this is because of your connection to thought leaders. America is the Incarceration Nation and nothing is going to change until our “justice” leaders start thinking outside the box. Einstein said, “A problem cannot be solved with the same consciousness that created it.” And yet we keep creating the same kind of prisons completely lacking in corrections. Do you know anyone interested in or outraged by this issue or is it one you’ve never thought about? If so, you’re completely normal.
You know, Stewart, I think every person who has survived cancer has had this mental conversation, “What’ll I do if it comes back? Treatment or let nature take it’s course?” I’ll deal with that if the time comes, but I would like to be part of some actual changes in the way we punish people before I go. I love hearing how you will be dealing with this and I hope you keep posting. You obviously have a lot left to do too. You’re the first person I’ve “met, even virtually” who has MDS too. Your wife was right. It means a lot that you’ve shared it, especially to me. So let’s just fight the damned thing and keep on being charmed.
