Not trying to be insensitive, but after the first one being so terrifying and difficult, I fail to comprehend why you would go through all that again. Considering that the world is currently massively overpopulated and self-destructing due to overconsumption, and that literally tens of thousands of abandoned children live in the foster care system in America, I totally fail to understand the sheer cluelessness of wanting to have another child in your circumstance. We all have our karma and our life’s path. In this day and age, not all of us are destined to be breeders. Are you bitter? Well, I would be too if I went through all that, but I also feel that, from what you’ve written, that Nature already TRIED TO WARN YOU the first time, and you just didn’t get the message. So, you can be bitter at Nature all you want but it won’t solve the mystery.