Mightier than the S.word.
Written for Fabulously Feminist Magazine
Mightier than the s.word.
By: Yanina Angelini Arismendi
CW- language.
I have been reading and writing since I was three years old. I still remember sitting on my grandmother’s kitchen table, learning to write cursive by re-writing poetry books, or reciting poems out loud whist peeling vegetables. Words and speaking them have always been my forte and my achilles heel:
When I was in second grade I got into an argument with a teacher over the meaning of a really old Spanish word. Even after producing a dictionary she would not acknowledge that a child could be right and that it could be used the way I used it in a sentence. The exchange was so unpleasant that my teacher called in a conference with my mother. During the parent meeting, my mom was told that a child as young as I should be discouraged from using big, complicated words in everyday language. It would put extra attention on me from the other kids and could get me bullied, it was was perceived as condescending by some faculty when a child acts smarter than the adults around them. She thought that my language use was problematic. My mother defended me. She was proud of my intelligence and dedication to learning: “What do you expect her to speak like?” when her question was met with silence she simply said “if you cannot understand what she says, simply ask her the meaning of the word. That’s what we do at home because we don’t think we’re smarter than anyone, we learn from each other” the teacher apologised. My grandmother’s strong emphasis in education was invoked and we and agreed that I’d have a bright future in academics.
I walked away from the interaction with confidence to be as intellectual as I wanted to be.
About a year later when I began playing sports mostly with other boys, I started picking up what my mom deemed ‘their’ bad language. I wanted their language for far more reasons that I will go on detail today but believe me when I say that when my mom deemed swearing a ‘boys thing’ I was on it and began using “bad words” constantly. At first she would first smack me. Or tell me to watch my language. My grandmother tried washing my mouth with soap, and putting hot sauce on my tongue, which made things funny because I really liked spicy food anyways.
My Stubbornness won out at the end and I simply wouldn’t cave in.
So my mother finally sat me down to talk about adult words. That was all the setup I needed.
When I explained to my mother that this situation where I couldn’t express myself with the choicest word I could find felt no different than the teacher trying to police my words by deeming some adult and too complicated for me to understand. It’s not ever been my practice ever to use words I do not understand and I felt fully capable of controlling what I say based on context. With my friends, in the soccer field I would certainly sound different than say going to the theater or in the classroom. Sometimes a situation warrants one concise word that everyone understand well as shocking and otherwise unspeakable. My mother understood. She made me understand that some words were too explicit for children to hear or say but she trusted me, we agreed to always express ourselves as fully and colorfully as possible while being mindful of the audience. I walked away with the confidence to know that I am responsible for carefully choosing what I want to say. I am still working on that being more mindful of putting content warnings and making my writing more accessible to people, growing is an ongoing process in life, but back then, I got away with saying Shit in my mother’s presence and that was pretty cool to me as a kid.
Now I write often for publications and am currently working on my first book. I do not limit myself by which words I use, instead I try to not sound too academic as I like my writing to reflect me: I want it to be raw, honest and accessible to all. Quite frankly, sometimes I need colorful, expressive language to make a point. Although the pen is mightier than the sword sometimes neither the pen nor the sword are as mighty as the s.word.
Yanina Angelini Arismendi is a gender fluid writer, activist and artist born in Uruguay living in the United States. Yanina is co-owner and curator of Art Mart FXBG a gallery and safe space located in Downtown Fredericksburg, VA.
nina@artmartfxbg.com
www.yaninaangelini.com Instagram: yaninaangeliniarts Twitter: @SJ_Senshi Writing portfolio: medium.com/@ninaangeliniarismendi
(This is an entry from our most recent Call for Submissions — Language Matters!
How does the language people use within activist and academic circles impact the meaning of the message, and is this a good or a bad thing? Are swear words appropriate for activism, and is the criticism of swearing classist? Can a word be reclaimed? Can it be reclaimed for everyone, or just some people — and what are the privileged implications, if any?
Learn more here to join the conversation.)
5:22 am • 24 February 2017 • 1 note
Originally Published in Fabulouslyfeminist.com February 22, 2017.
