Please Purchase Our Christian Chicken
Trust us, it’s finger-licking chaste.
Our chickens are fueled by corn, soy, and Jesus.
Our chickens are heterosexual, gender conforming slut-shamers. They cast all the stones.
Our chickens know that the struggle is real, but so is Father God.
Our chickens wear Promise Rings, by choice. Those who refuse are culled.
Our chicken’s favorite Warren is Rick. Liz needs to find the Lord.
Our chickens embrace the mean girl pecking order as part of Father God’s plan.
Our chickens celebrate Christian Girl Autumn in virgin wool sweaters.
Our chickens hate the sin, love the sinner.
Our chickens know that the best vitamin for a Christian is B1.
Our chickens’ favorite song by the Chicks is none of them. #blessed
Our chickens chair the church potluck. Father God is not looking for ability, but availability.
Our chickens wear one-piece bathing suits. #modest
Our chickens know that life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.
