CNN Doubles Down on Fake News

Welcome, dear lady. Welcome, kind gentleman. Today the chef has prepared for you a most succulent rendition of the Second Law of SJW.

SJWs always double down.

Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.

The chef would like to start you off this evening with a refreshing aperitif cocktail: crocodile tears with a karmic twist. This rare liqueur has been infused with high levels of cortisol and left to marinate three days in a journalist’s skull with no outlet for its anxiety. The result is a potent and intensely satisfying flavor, sure to evoke memories of an enemy’s past defeat and the accompanying lamentations.

Pro tip: we don’t care.

Now we start with a pair of dishes, which the chef has titled “Missing the Point.” One is prepared with a 15-year cognac reduction, the other with a 41-year cognac reduction. One was sourced from the United States, the other from Mexico. Both are centered around a clear threat to an individual’s privacy and security. Have a taste, see if you can tell the difference. Or if you care.

May want to double-check with SCOTUS on that one, Miss “Political Analyst.”

A light salad before we get on to meatier dishes. Word salad, to be more specific. The chef has put forward an astonishing array of verbiage in this chaotic display of sperg. Each component appears weighty and impactful on its own, yet combined the meaning dissipates into an undifferentiated blur of rhetorical sewage. Enjoy.

Filet of rationalization hamster is expertly paired with peroxide glaze. Note the musky flavor of the terminally average permeating this dish. The only source known for this rare delight is a CNN political analyst, particularly one clinging to rapidly fading youth. The meat rests on a bed of turnip puree- oh, excuse me. My mistake. That’s actually brain matter. What’s left of it, anyway.

Ah, yes. The old “I didn’t know that these words in that order would have a meaning that might get me in trouble, even though I literally craft sentences for a living!” defense.

Now we come to the meat of the matter: our sumptuous main course. The very marrow of their bones has been drained in a frantic attempt to defend themselves as incompetent rather than dishonest. But a journalist who prints a “poor word” is no better than a chef who serves an overdone steak. Both deserve the same reward: the vanishing of each and every customer.

What a giddy school girl “journalist” wanted to believe happened versus…
…what actually happened.

Before dessert, a little digestif: a timely reminder that not only do SJWs always double down, they always, always return to business as usual: lying. You’ll also detect a hint of the Third Law in this liqueur, a subtle nod to the fact that every time they claim Trump is impulsive or immature or dishonest, we again observe the immutable fact that SJWs always project.

We close our dining experience today with a dish the chef calls “Isolate and Swarm.” See how the central figure of the dish stands alone, abandoned by its former allies, panic building to a glorious frenzy as its delusion of righteousness and control crumbles. That dark flavor you taste- that’s fear. Delicious.

Thank you for joining us this evening, good lady and good sir. Please do visit us again. Many more delights lie ahead as the legacy media collapse progresses.

Tastefully yours,

S. Misanthrope