I’m Bule’s Type and I’m Okay with It
Bule = White Men. Another level of Indonesian beauty standard.
When I was little, I don’t get “You’re beautiful” a lot, mostly because I have dark skin, fat and ugly — I was a kid, so I don’t really care. Most people like my sisters better cause they’re white, brown eyes, brown long hair, pretty! Nothing like me at all.
As I was growing up, I speak fluent English and a little Dutch. I was one of the best students in my school, Honorary receiver of Scholar, went to school for a year without paying anything. I was the leader of Student Commission, I was very active in a lot of people-involved organization. I was famous as the smart girl in school, not the pretty one. Unfortunately, this doesn’t lead me to have a handsome, famous boyfriend. Still, nobody showed any interest cause I’m still chubby, super dark skin and I don’t use any ‘whitening’ beauty products, not because I don’t want to but because I can’t stand using 7 different products before going to bed after spending a while day on Public Speaking or Debate Club. It was just exhausting. Therefore, I learned to just accept myself as who I am. I give no more attention to whitening beauty products.
When I turned 19 and work in a foreign company in Jakarta, my co-workers told me that I am Bule’s Type — this is a stereotype where if you aren’t meet the expectation of “Indonesian Cosmetics Ads” beauty standard. When you just stay the way you are, do non-whitening treatments, etc. I felt disturbed about that, I was dating a white guy at that time and I asked him about whether he likes me because of my dark skin and if he ever felt offended when someone said I’m Bule-Type several times, luckily his answer was very comforting.
“Sure, I like the fact that you’re exotic and comfortable with yourself. Whether or not I got offended when someone said that, it depends how they say it and how I perceive the message. I like you because you’re a different kind of beauty from where I’m from. So, that stereotype is true in some ways.”
It is, it’s true in some ways but in the end of the day, there’s no such thing as type specifically — it’s someone that shares the same values as you, physical comes second with people that prioritize quality.
It depends on us to take this stereotype as something to embrace or something to hate, I choose to embrace it. I love the fact that I’m with a man that loves me for who I am and what I look, I love the fact that he can appreciate beauty that comes from within as much as he can appreciate beauty from the outside.
Girls, you are beautiful and you just are. You shouldn’t let other people define you from your looks, you shouldn’t live to their standard, you shouldn’t set your standard to their expectation. You should grow mentally, you should let yourself be define from how you think, your values, your basic principles in life, your virtues to other people and your strength as a woman.