I’ve found that the levels of outrageousness of their behavior actually protects and insulates them. The worse it is, the more people believe YOU must be the crazy one, because, “who would do that?” Even people who do eventually figure out they were with a narcissist often never figure out the true depths of their illness, secrets, or depravity. It isn’t until something truly horrific happens…like a victim ends up dead or some awful crime is brought to light… that suddenly people validate that the victims are justified and not at fault or crazy, and often then, it’s too late.

I’ve found also that when people don’t believe you when you have evidence of the truth, you need to not see that as a “normal” person: it’s likely a narcissist too. ESPECIALLY if they know you well and know you to not be a liar. Victim blaming and denial is how they will always respond to discussions of behaviors they’re guilty of. They’ll serve as flying monkeys to strangers to gaslight you, only in an attempt to save themselves from ever being discovered for it. They’ll say, “no one would do that!” When, of course, look at any true crime show…everyone knows they do and that mental illness exists! What they’re really trying to do is ensure you never discover that it’s something THEY do. It’s just covert DARVO—their knee jerk reaction to their own shames.

If you had one narcissist in your life, it’s very likely you have attracted more of them as friends as well, so use their lack of validation as a way to sift through who your real friends are. I made too many mistakes being gaslit and not seeing that and getting burned badly later.