Stoner Pride From A Former Straight Edge Kid

I was super anti-party culture in college due to a series of bad experiences. I didn’t even drink for a long, long time. When I realized party bros are what I hated and not weed and booze, life got bigger and better. And once I hit the pipe, I realized that I wanted to talk about weed, and I wanted to talk abou tit a lot.

Since becoming a stoner, many many many people have been super weird about me openly talking about weed. In general, I feel like this attitude is really just residual weirdbad feelings leftover from the age of illegality. Like…. I have a medical card! I didn’t smoke weed before I turned 23 and got all my paperwork shit together! At least, not in any meaningful way (I think I smoked maybe twice between high school and college and didn’t get high). So if there’s no legal reason for me to be ashamed or keep my mouth shut in regards to MMJ advocacy and testimonials, why are people so insistent that I don’t talk about it?

The myth of the lazy stoner who is going nowhere is about as bass ackwards as the ideology behind Reefer Madness… like… I think there’s this fear that my friends/family have where if I talk about smoking weed, people will assume I’m:

(A) lazy, unfocused, or immature 
(B) smoking party weed constantly in order to avoid my own ~emotional upsets~

So let’s put that to bed right now — Plenty of artists, comedians and musicians talk openly about drinking alcohol and it’s considered innocuous. But open your mouth about smoking weed and people will recoil in judgement, tell you that you’re smoking too much or that they’re worried about you smoking so much, or quietly suggest that you be less open and loud about your (perceived) “unsavory habit”. Obviously, at this point we all know and keenly understand that weed is way, way, WAY safer than alcohol, but we still treat it as though it’s on par with heavier and harder drugs like meth or opiates. I’m not trying to make the argument that we have a more sane handle on hard drugs than weed — the entire conversation around drugs in America is totally fucked right now (as my friend Zeph is so quick to point out, data suggests that caffeine is HIGHLY addictive, but a lotta capitalists got a lotta invested in keeping that information on the DL).

Many of our fave musicians, artists and public figures have been and continue to be huge potheads. These are productive people who are widely loved. I smoke Sativa dominant hybrids or strains with high CBD content when I’m sitting down to work — it helps keep my energy level up and grants me a level of focus that I have not been able to enjoy sober, ever. It treats my ADD, anxiety and muscle aches, allowing me to be a functional human being. So, point A is effectively neutralized. I will sing the fucking praises of pot and Wellbutrin because I couldn’t get out of bed before they came into my life.

On point #2?? Fuck right off. There are SO many different kinds of weed and chemicals that we can get out of hemp plants. This euphoric, slow moving couch lock weed ya’ll assume I’m smoking 24/7 doesn’t exist. I do smoke weed almost 24/7. It might look like this:

Morning & Afternoon: Sativa door minant hybrids for later in the day(especially the 2pm slump), CBD oil (honey or vape oil?) with my morning coffee. Provides focus and light euphoria, effectively combating my depression and AHH which manifests as morning fatigure, aches/pains, anxiety attacks, etc. etc.

Evening: Indica strains or CBD oil for sleep. The other night I tried to sleep without smoking weed at all since I was out, and it took me five hours to fall asleep. Five. hours. Just laying in bed, body relaxed and desperately wanting to fall asleep. It was EXACTLY what had happened to be pre-weed, this exhausting constant alertness.

“But aren’t you just treating your symptoms and not the cause of your ‘insomnia’/’depression’??”

I don’t have insomnia, just trouble falling asleep, and a lot of people talk shit about that at me but I just. don’t. have it.

Secondly, my brain is actually broken. Like, straight up, I have a doctors note level broken. ADD & a dopamine deficiency, to me= a broken brain; it’s not doing the thing it’s supposed to be doing. It’s not something that just gets ‘fixed’ by pursuing ‘the proper treatments’. There is no cure, there’s only management. I take Wellbutrin and Zoloft as prescribed, but I still experience symptoms of the underlying illnesses, because that’s what happens. Even if I do every single thing I’m supposed to do, I will experience symptoms. The Right Medication(TM) is the kind where the good outweighs the bad; there is no goddamn way a pill is going to take away what years of illness has conditioned your brain to do on a daily basis. There’s no way a pill is going to permanently rewrite parts of your brain. Treating the symptoms is all that I can do after I’ve found the right treatment plan with my psychiatrist. This isn’t avoidance — it’s medication.

So you’re goddamn RIGHT I’m gonna talk about weed all of the time on my podcast(The Elixir — a casual podcast for and by neuroatypical artists). You will absolutely hear bong rips in the background of my Let’s Plays. I will sing about pot. It’s helped to save my life. You will hear about it, god damn it, because it’s a central, beautiful, celebratory and important part of my life. It opens up doors inside of my heart and mind that have been slammed shut for years by the combined forces of social expectation, emotional disturbances and illnesses. It’s helped me regain my ability to read and comprehend what it is I’m reading. It’s helped me write again.

Why the hell wouldn’t I want to scream about this miracle from the rooftops?