THE second write of “The 6th child” took me to Dark places as my ultra ego defended himself from rejection, failure,( real or Imagined). It was a lonely Time, being who is or was. Even his discovered Pain, bitterness resentment hate, to act out. Cold not sooth his SORROW and Loss, this Life he no longer cherished .His was a very lonely place which was difficult without a Lube say Beer, perhaps a Whiskey sour both easy to regulate until the Black took over, indulgence takes place Happiness no longer a real thing. “Rock Star” is Born again. fame and fortune love as pleasure replaces what Love he could not see. Self loathing with cause true cause as told by the rejections which were clear and contributed to the Down word cycle “chiva” a positive solution for being asleep with my eyes open was my best resource it was not an unhealthy Addiction, it was warm and less violent than reds or three grain rainbows.