Feeling overloaded.

My Brain.

My belief that this week would reveal noticeable improvements in my javascript skills has been proven false. Instead of feeling more comfortable and familiar with the structure, terminology, and techniques of javascript, I feel that I know even less than I did last week. I realize that this could not possibly be true. My brain could not have dumped out everything from the last two weeks. I think that I am just feeling a bit overwhelmed with all that we have been learning, and the frustration of not being able to easily put the pieces together. Instead of focusing on this feeling, letting it eat away at my confidence, I am going to focus on how I want to feel.

How I deal with difficult situations

I can sit here and write page after page about frustration, insecurity, fear, and all the other terrible feelings I have had since starting this program. While that usually helps me in the beginning, I have never found it helpful to dwell on it for too long. So, instead, I am going to write about how I deal with situations that push me outside of my comfort zone.

Talking. I don't hold things in. I talk about my feelings with anyone and everyone who will lend a sympathetic ear. Getting these thoughts and feeling out of my head helps me to separate them from myself. They lose their power to define and control me once they are outside of my head.

Reframing. Once I am able to get some distance from the situation by talking about it, I can then start to decide how I want to feel about it. I can’t always control the situations I am in, or the feelings they stir up, but I can decide how I want to proceed. I view situations where I feel fear or insecurity as an opportunity to grow. Rather than feel helpless and afraid, I see it as a sign that I am in the right place. I am pushing myself and growing through these feelings.

Showing up. After that, I just keep showing up. So, overloaded or not, I am going to keep pushing through all of this with the hope that next week is the week that things start to make more sense.

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