What did former shy people understand that made them more confident?
I live in a remote area far away from the capital city of Kolkata. However, my parents decided to send me to a big school in the city so that I get a better education and become more confident in my life.
However, as soon as I entered the big school premises, I was overwhelmed. That was too much for me to grasp because I had lived in a village till that day ,and attended a local school there. I spoke in vernacular language back in my village school, but, once I came to this big school in the heart of the city, I was scared and insecure.
Kids younger than me spoke fluent English. They were smarter than me, better dressed than me, richer than me, and everything more than me. And I was this small , scared school boy who had no clue about how to approach a person, let alone talk to them about something.
Then I turned to the girls. Jesus! Each of them walked as if they were walking the ramp. They were stylish, beautiful, confident and each of them behaved as if they ruled the world.
Deep in my heart, I realised that never in my life would I have the guts to approach a girl in my school.I was way out of their league.
In my class, I knew my lessons well but I used to freeze and become numb when the teachers would ask me to say out an answer loud.
I was afraid that people would judge me. I was worried that my friends would laugh at me if I said something wrong and stupid. My masculine spirit was fearful that the girls in my class would laugh at me. I was scared that the teacher would make a fool out of me in the class. And I was thinking all this even if I knew the correct answer!
Then the worst happened! I stammered and indeed made a fool of myself as I was nervous. The class did laugh at me, and the teacher did scold me. But once the teacher left the class, everybody seemed to forget the incident.
I hit the jackpot.I drew the following conclusions :
- People don’t give a shit about you. Yeah, you might think yourself to be Big Rambo but people don’t care. They don’t care that you say the correct answer or if you say the wrong answer. Yeah , they might laugh for a while if you are wrong and stupid but a minute after that, they forget about you.
- No body is thinking about you. You think your girlfriend is thinking about you? Nah! She is worried about what you think of her and scared that you will find someone else.. You think your teacher is thinking about you? Nah! He is worried about whether he is teaching you well. You think your best friend is thinking about you? Nah! They are worried if they are a good enough friend for you .
SURPRISE! SURPRISE! SURPRISE!
I just told you the ugly truth.
People are so busy thinking and being worried about their own selves that you are just nobody to them. This was how my shyness and worry evaporated.
What happened to me after I had the realisation?
- Well, I topped(came in the top 3) of my class for seven consecutive years.
- I was well respected by my peers.
- All the teachers had high expectations of me.
- I was offered leadership roles in my class.
- I could easily talk with girls and eventually had girlfriends.
P.S. On our farewell day, I gifted a girl I had a crush on with a rose. She was probably angry or something, so basically, I was rejected .
But hey, I don’t mind? Why?
Nobody gives a flying fuck about me.
So I might as well do what I want.
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