What’s Medium. Why are you on Medium. Nobody reads Medium.

Thus its deeply hipster appeal.

But I’m only deeply hipster.

I’m becoming concerned by my nearly sociopathic levels of blasé self-centeredness of late.

(who is that dickhole? shit. it’s me.)

In my defense, I’m finally watching Girls on HBO. I don’t think I should binge watch it. Hannah is the worst but I think she’s the best and it’s impacting my genetic expression in a weird way.

I’m 40 but acting like a neurotic child (again).

Does your acupuncturist make you cry? Like when she tells you to eat pork or says, “Sadie, that’s a 20-year-old’s lifestyle, not a 40-year-old’s life style?”

Your acupuncturist sounds mean-ish.

Also, I hope your name is Sadie because I definitely feel like she should know it by now.

Anyway I’m not cool enough to be superficially hipster so I always say I’m not so people won’t start judging me and thinking I’m not really very hip.

But if you like it I have to hate it and then make myself think about how that is pretty weird and consider maybe liking it but I don’t.

Unless it’s Taylor Swift (ha ha).

So I’m 40 and I can’t hold my drink anymore.

I feel horrifically confident that I’ve been saying things to my friends after one drink that I shouldn’t say to anyone.

— this dress you’ve designed it RI-diculous.

— your good friend is RI-diculous.

— I’m a straight-up socialist.

I actually don’t like Taylor Swift. I only like one song.

That I know of.

And feminism.

I actually like to be pretty positive.

So I don’t know where these harsh vibes are coming from.

Except from reality.

Do you know about epigenetics?

I think too much Girls has altered my genetic expression and turned the clock back to navel-gazing late-adolescent angst.

So I guess, instead of binge watching HBO NOW, keep your job even if it sucks because:

It’s fucking Friday and I thought it was Monday for the last three hours.

And then I just thought two days ago was Monday.

And then I was like: WAIT.

Stay sharp kids. Stay in work.

I think work should be called distractify though? Because work keeps us from taking on social injustice.

The end.