Not fitting in ?

At times I think I get a look, curious, maybe attracted. But then, when we could have a connection, some withdraw. They believe the clichés. They don’t know anything about me, but assume I am easy to get, promiscuous, and some seriously want to show me the way out of my confusion. I admit that I am confused, but not about my identity, only by them being so ignorant and unable to accept that I can love men and women alike.

It is easy to make me feel like a sugar cube that is dissolved in the water it was thrown into. I would like that if it made the water sweeter, because then it would have meaning. But it doesn’t, instead I feel like being thrown in a lake where I don’t matter. This is frustrating when it happens. It makes me feel like I am less, not worth being accepted for who I am, and up to this day, after I have come out a thousand times, it is something I cannot ignore. It hurts that even people I like are biased, and confronting these prejudices, not being taken seriously, being seen as confused, is like an ongoing fight against windmills.

When I had a relationship with a woman I was labeled a lesbian. When I was with a man suddenly and miraculously I had turned into a heterosexual woman who was done experimenting. And some withdrew their friendship because they felt betrayed by me making out with a man. That’s sad, and not better than implying that I follow a promiscuous lifestyle. I don’t, but being bisexual and female dramatically increases your chance of having to fend off such inappropriate statements.

I wouldn’t deny a vital and wonderful part of myself, but once in a while I end up in a situation where I feel like not fitting in, because others create this feeling in me. Imagine how you would feel if you were told your sexual identity does not exist, that you are only confused.