Trump week 26, “Please man your lifeboat stations.”

Nick Salvador
Jul 22, 2017 · 6 min read
Slothra vs Americanic

It doesn’t speak well of a person when his celebrity lawyer, a man singularly attracted to cameras, decides that his client lies too much to continue to represent him. Marc Kasowitz could have milked his position as Trump’s personal attorney for another four years, providing that he would NEVER have to put Trump in front of a deposition. You see, the canon of legal ethics prohibits an attorney from putting his client on the stand if he or she knows that their client will be lying. Given that the entire Trump genetic tree has a total disassociation with anything resembling the truth, it makes sense that Kasowitz and his spokesman Mark Carallo would head for the lifeboats.

The new legal strategy being explored by Fortress Trump is to discredit the Mueller investigation by attacking the character of Bob Mueller and his investigatory team. According to the Imperial Leader, Mueller and his team all have conflicts of interest, i.e. they know democrats, and should therefore recuse themselves.

Good luck with that. These men and women nailed Enron, Martha Stewart, Oliver North and gang, and Madoff…and they had GOOD lawyers.

Trump does have one fall back position that he has his legal team investigating: “Can I pardon myself?” No Mr. Trump, there are a number of things that you can do to yourself, most of which we would encourage, but no, you cannot pardon yourself…you fucking idiot.

The SpiceMan Goeth. Sean Spicer’s war against the truth and common sense came to an inglorious end on July 20th when he finally answered the question “does Sean Spicer own a pair of testicles?” He proved himself to be lightly testosterone laden today when he tendered his resignation following the appointment of Anthony Scaramucci as Communications Director. Here is Sean attempting to preserve a shred of dignity as he flees the WH for the final time:

Off to Fox News

Spicer, of course, wasn’t being paid nearly enough, even at $174,400/yr to stand up, every day, in front of a room of intelligent, inquisitive journalists and recite bald face lies, all of which were verifiable in real time. When the most favorable impression Americans have of you, is Melissa McCarthy playing you on SNL, you’ll turn off the briefing room cameras to preserve that image. Temporarily unemployed, he’ll now be able to dress off brand, and play with himself on Fox.

Sean disagreed vehemently with the appointment of Scaramucci as Comm. Director, and when he was rebuffed, he finally took a look in the mirror, reached into his pants for reassurance and said, “Nothing is worth this bullshit.”

Spicer is going to be offered a mint to write a “tell all” about his 180 days of hiding in the WH bushes, so don’t feel sorry for him. On the other hand, we all know that Trump will attempt to sue the living shit out of him…and that will be our revenge for six months of daily deception.

Future Fox analyst and author Sean Spicer

The downside? Melissa absolutely rocked this caricature, and we’ll miss her playing Spicey. For the record, the over/under on seeking some measure of self respect is now six months. This, of course, does not apply to any member of the Trump family circus, the Trump cabinet, or Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan all of whom are bereft of personal integrity.

If I were a betting man, which I am not, my money would be on National Security Advisor H.R. McMaster as the next Trump appointee to decide to spend more time with his family.

Who is Anthony Scaramucci? One need only look at the Goldman Sachs alumni list to find him. Yep, Hillary was too close to G-Sachs, which is why 6 of the mother fuckers are working in the Trump White House.

Scaramucci is famous for lambasting Trump while he was working for the Jeb Bush campaign. Now that he’s been appointed to the WH Communications Director position, he’s testing his knee pads and gag reflex on Donald Trump mini-me. Truly, he’s in love.

Wherefore are thou TrumpCare? Do you not know for whom the bell tolls? It tolls for thee, because you’re a mean spirited attack on the American health care system, and only 12% of Americans, none of whom can pass a basic literacy or tooth count test, approve of your provisions.

Tired of not winning….

Mitch has tried and failed at everything. If he throws money at Medicaid, he loses Rand Paul (would you really want this fucker as your MD?). If he makes Rand Paul giggle by cutting Medicaid, he loses Dean Heller who doesn’t really want the Governor of Nevada (a Republican that hates TrumpCare) to crawl up his back passage wearing his golf shoes.

So what is a not so poor, actually married to Chinese money, Kentuckian to do? Simple, blame Hillary, or Obama, or every democrat that ever lived, because most of them are in California and New Fucking York. Then, considering that you don’t have the votes to pass your original legislation, you propose your fallback: You vote to repeal the ACA and strip healthcare from 33 Million Americans. Nearly 10% of the population would lose their medical coverage in two years or less if Mitch gets his 50 votes. At the moment this appears to be a long shot, but that is kind of what we were thinking on November 8th wasn’t it? You just might want to call your senators.

Mitch’s last resort is to call Chuck Shumer. You’ll read about a senatorial suicide before that actually happens.

This is Attorney General Jeff Sessions, native American name “Little Big Ears”. If you’ve been paying attention, you’d know, like Jeff knows, that the president is disappointed beyond belief that Mr. Sessions recused himself from the Russia investigations.

You see, it wasn’t enough that this native Alabaman is channeling Nancy Reagan’s war on black Americans through a “just say no” war on drugs, the Trumpster also expected Jeffy to step in and protect him from evil, like in the Lord’s Prayer which he says…well never. Evil, of course, is represented by the horned visage of Robert Mueller…aka Satan if you speak Trumpese.

Apparently Mr. Sessions might have left a little teeny bit more out of his senate hearing than his three meetings with Russian Ambassador Kislyak. Yeah, the National Security Agency, nasty bastards that they are, were monitoring the Russian ambassador in 2016, and they kind of snagged Mr. Sessions discussing the Trump campaign and Trump’s stances vis a vis Russia…which we all know involves a bit more fellating on President Putin that we would normally expect from our president.

Take a good look at him, he’s not long for the administration. He’s going to “resign” within the next 96 hours. Yeah, I know, Malcom Nance is calling it at 24. I’m giving it an extra two days just because Sessions is kind of stubborn, like a date you just can’t get rid of.

Finally, tonight I know for certain that from this week on, I will be short one reader. Joni Vierra, my friend, my aunt, my lifelong fan passed into the light on Wednesday morning surrounded by her loving family. She was always the first to comment on my blogs, whether they were political (she was a lifelong liberal democrat), or involved one of my cycling or sailing adventures. Joni had a laugh that would light up a room, and a sense of justice that we all would seek. I’m writing this with a heavy heart, knowing that in the a.m., my inbox will be, for once, empty of her laughing comments. So go forth Joni, knowing that you are loved and will be missed by all. And as you become one with the universe, I wish you nothing more than a sailor’s fair winds. I guess it’s also time to tell you that the burnt chocolate tapioca that you made when you were babysitting really wasn’t edible, no matter what you said. Rest well Joni.

That’s week 26. Take care of yourselves.

Nick Salvador

Written by

Nick is a 1974 graduate of the Defense Language Institute. Trained in intelligence, he spent 28 yrs managing Intelligence and EW programs for a major contractor

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