I’m a woman with disabilities and former co-chair of the Olympia Democratic Socialists of America. A white man, co-founder of my chapter and former member of a National committee, filed a false grievance against me in response to personal and political conflict.
That experience foregrounded many issues at once: structural problems with the DSA grievance process. Our incompetent and unethical National Harassment and Grievance Officer. The absence of conflict resolution policies in many Locals. How OlyDSA marginalized, silenced and scapegoated members, including asking loyalty oaths of some people who signed on to a motion about grievance reform.
But one of the biggest issues the experience brought up was misogyny and bullying in the chapter. Before my grievance case, I was bullied by the comrade who would file it. When I began organizing around my case, I connected with other women who had similar experiences. All of us are dumbfounded by how hard we’ve had to fight to address misogyny in a socialist organization.
Kate Manne carefully distinguishes between sexism and misogyny — sexism as “the ideology that supports patriarchal social relations but misogyny enforces it when there’s a threat of that system going away.” Outwardly, Olympia DSA stands in opposition to patriarchal social relations — but entrenched enforcement systems (misogyny/bullying) still kick in when women step too far outside of their sanctioned roles. Politically, I “misbehaved” by making a series of decisions my comrade opposed, sharing a mistake he’d made and criticizing him publicly.
Rebecca Solnit notes that “when a woman says something that impugns a man, particularly one at the heart of the status quo, especially if it has to do with sex, the response will question not just the facts of her assertion but her capacity to speak and her right to do so. Generations of women have been told they are delusional, confused, manipulative, malicious, conspiratorial, congenitally dishonest, often all at once.”
This is what happened to me. After speaking up about being falsely accused, I have been called vindictive, delusional, manipulative, gaslighting, remorseless, dishonest, disgusting and a homewrecker. After sharing my experiences I was asked, primarily by chapter leadership:
- Are you misremembering?
- Are you sure?
- Were you manic at the time?
- Did the other women file grievances about it? (the bullying)
And told:
- You’re disrupting our work.
- There are bigger problems
- I’m a feminist, but…
- That doesn’t sound like the person I know.
This is the same language that’s used to dismiss women’s stories of harassment and assault. Whether we’re the accused or the accuser, women cannot be believed.
A statement from the NHGO in December 2021 said that by talking about being bullied, I was engaging in an abuse tactic called DARVO — deny, attack, reverse victim & offender. That response — from the very person who is supposed to help chapters address abuse and harm — has discouraged other women from filing their own grievances under Resolution 33.
In March 2022 six women, including myself, began sharing their experiences with bullying and misogyny in the chapter. We have asked that:
- Olympia DSA leadership make a statement simply acknowledging that some members identify bullying and misogyny as problems in their chapter
- My comrade receive anti-oppression training, ideally selected and overseen by National Socialist Feminist Working Group or other National body. That training could also include the “New Masculinities” curriculum being developed by the NHGO.
I am opposed to anyone’s suspension, expulsion or removal from leadership as a result of this or any other statement. That comrade was a friend and my experiences do not erase the work he has done.
Together we can and must do better.
In love & solidarity,
-Sarah
