It is no longer a fight between two heads who has different destinations — nor fights between them who refuse to be accused as evil. I have passed all those, all the fights to make you stay when all you ever wanted was leave. I have passed all any other fights to make myself heard. I am now left with the quietude. The room is now empty after you left — that they suffocate me with their passivity. And this is supposed to be like this.
I have entrusted you my heart, my whole heart, and instead, it came back missing pieces. I wish assembling those parts are as easy as building legos. I thought I have given you the moon, stars, and the whole galaxy, but it seemed never enough. Maybe it will never be enough. And the moment I realized that the person I love wasn’t even real, I am dumbfounded. And I stopped, to think if there’s any slight chance if you were real? But no, you were not. You made it clear that you weren’t real. The person I love who I thought also loved me, who I thought would fight for me, who I thought would accept my flaws, is not there. They are not real. They are my illusions. And you are right. I am too deep in my fantasy to realize that.
Maybe I am done fighting for someone who doesn’t want me no matter who I am. Maybe I am done.. being the liability in this room. Maybe I am done chasing for something that doesn’t want to be chased. Maybe I am done fighting alone.
Fly high, Butterfly. Bring along the shattered feelings of mine as well as the pieces of heart of mine which you lost. May you find your peace.. and your own moon, stars, as well as galaxies to feed on.
