Do you need the approval of others?
Humility is something I have been guided to write about today. Being humble is to not seek the approval or assurance of others when doing something for others or us. It is coming from a place where your heart is totally not seeking any reward for your actions. You are acting out of complete love and kindness, not out of a need for recognition from others. This has been shown to me to be something I myself need to work on. I can recognise in me the need for the development of more humility. If I am honest, I know I love to be praised and therefore I often seek the approval of my partner or family or friends, or anyone who will give it to me! This is a quality about myself that I would like to be more aware of. I would like to be able to let go of the need for approval.
‘How do I do this?’ you may ask. Firstly, we need to ask a question of ourselves, “Why do I look for approval or appreciation from others?” If the answer is “ I don’t know” then we need to sit quietly and ask again because there is a reason. The reason may be that we are insecure and therefore the constant gratitude we seek fills us with the confidence that we really don’t have inside. It could be that we have always sought approval and now it is a habit, a way of life for us that we base our decisions and actions on. We all have our own reasons.
Ask yourself. Ask your inner wisdom. In a quiet moment, focusing on this, you will receive guidance from your inner wisdom or intuition. You have the ability to tap into the source of the answers you need to make this change. Find a place and time where you feel comfortable, warm and safe. Sit and close your eyes. Feel the breath moving in and out of your nostrils. After a few breaths, begin to feel that you give yourself permission to ask this question. Ask it and wait for the answer. You may receive the answer in words, pictures or feelings, this is your individual inner wisdom speaking to you, everyone is different.
Constantly seeking the approval of others can wear you out and stunt your spiritual growth, not to mention your everyday life. If you are always making choices and taking actions wanting the approval of others then you are not being authentic to yourself. Are you following your dreams? Do you feel you are making the right life choices for you based on your needs and wants? What are your desires? When you need the recognition of others, you are not being true to yourself. If you are always trying please others, how can you live the life that you truly desire?
Love and kindness, I believe, are the core values we need as humans. Cultivating these two qualities in ourselves will bring us a sense of intrinsic value, self-worth and self-love which we can then give freely to others without wanting or needing anyone else’s approval but our own.
After you have spent some quiet time asking and receiving your wisdom, write it down. Writing is a very valuable tool to use everyday for reflection and planning. Whilst writing, notice your physical body and how it feels. Do you feel relaxed? Do you feel tense? Are there any particular areas that you notice? Your body has a way of communicating with you, it will tell you how it feels and how it reacts to the words you are writing. If you feel a physical reaction it is telling you that you are on the right path. You are uncovering your reasons and you are on the way to developing a sense of awareness about your need for approval.
